Thursday, November 08, 2007

The One Less Travelled By

Oh rest my weary soul lay down,
in these green pastures sleep
Put down the burdens of the world,
let God be placed the weight
For men can only see so far,
learn yet 'naught understand a thing
Oh rest defeated one and sleep,
and sleep the night away

And dream of dreams of yesterdays,
of times of youth of innocence
And dream the dreams of childish games,
of paper boats that sinks with rain
Of rain that is the tears of God,
he cries for all the anguished pains
Of crushes and love and deceit,
of confusion and hatred and lies

This canvas that he has painted,
is filled with colours from his world
A life which he had tried to hide,
by distance placed between the two
Come now dont put the blame on me
for what you cannot comprehend
Two roads diverged into the woods
and I took one less travelled by

And that has made all the difference.

Monday, November 05, 2007

HEROIC AGE

OMG HEROIC AGE OWNS!
....especially the ending

If you're into anime, go watch this series.

You can watch it free from crunchyroll too.

Good luck not getting addicted

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Funny how i never mentioned i loved you once while i still could.
Or thanked you for everything that you did for me.
Or the sacrifices that you made.

Funny how i always swore to get to know you better.
To learn the language that would connect us together finally.

And i hope you got my little hints through the small deeds that i did do.
I hope you know that i indeed appreciate you even though i never knew how to say it out loud.
I hope you know that i love you.

Its only now when your gone,
when i look through clear glass at your face while you slept on that i realise of so much more i could have done.

I keep remembering the way you smiled, of how my heart would light up knowing you were happy. For your life was filled with much pain. The fragile body in which you were trapped in made days hard to go by. I only pray that you can finally rest in the Lord, and that you are as peaceful as you looked.

Even now the reality of it all is just beginning to sink it. I didnt realise it would hurt this much now that you're gone. I keep wishing every minute that i can just turn back the hands of time. To see you one last time, to talk to you, to hold your hands.

Now the tears start flowing. The ache in my heart that i felt for these two days seem to just pour out. How is it that i would never be able to see you anymore. That the last time saw you would be the last time ever. Now all i have in remembrance is just a picture of you in the wall. And the only chance i would get to speak to you would be to your grave.

I love you Amah, i hope you know that.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Proton

A funny vid i got from the bf.


Monday, September 24, 2007

Firstly, an apology for my tardy blogging these few months days. If you don't already know, i'm officially a member of the i-stay-in-a-jungle club now (on weekdays, that is) and have yet to get my internet sorted.

One good thing about moving into a town so small that the mighty Starbucks has not even invaded this place is of course the quality of life. Because the population of this area is so small, pollution is at its minimal. Greenery has never filled my life so much. The air here is so much fresher you can practically see the oxygen. Yup my friends, the oxygen level here is SO dense that it practically wraps this small lil' town that i now reside in with a layer of smog that you can clearly see. Ahh...the smell of fresh air. Healthy lifestyle here i come.
*if you didnt sense the sarcasm, I'm telling you thats what that was just now.

Bottom line is i cant believe such a small town would be so fucking polluted! Grrr...

Oh and i just watched Hairspray. John Travolta in drag? How can i miss this one! If you partially liked Dreamgirls but found it a tad tedious and too draggy, dont worry. Hairspray is the perfect ten to shows the likes of Dreamgirls. Totally opposite. You wont even notice time flying by, and thats good considering its one of the rare full 2 hour movies being churned out now. Think High School Musical with plenty of feet-tapping (that is if you've not already sprang out of your chair and burst out dancing along) and funny moments. This show is definately top notch in my books. I'm even thinking of getting the DVD as well (a feat for someone like me who hardly bothers watching the same movie twice). This show is definately...groovy, as they put it in the 60s.

Would love to elaborate more but i've got to get back to packing my things for the jungle now. Its gonna be a long week.

Happy Monday Blues everybody :P

Saturday, September 01, 2007

More Blonde Moments

I cant get enough of South Carolina's blonde moments!

Saw this clip and found it absolutely hillarious i cant stop laughing!

I'm so evil!

Blonde/Ultimatum

This is hillarious!

Miss Teen South Carolina attempts to answer the question of why 1/5 Americans cant locate their own country on a world map.

Seriously, i dont know which is dumber. Her answer or the question!

Well if you ask me...

'I personal believe that Miss Teen South Carolina is in fact NOT as dumb as people would like to think she is. The fact that she'd managed to involve South Africa and the Iraq and Asia in a question that seeks to find why AMERICANS cant locate their own country just shows her ingenuity beyond our comprehension, thats all.

After all, her answer is simple. Americans cant locate their own country because they dont have maps! DUH! But of course, educating South Africa and the Iraq and Asia is equally as important too! I mean its obvious that one has got to educate these three countries before expecting ones own citizen to know where their country is located!

However, the most important part of her answer that should have landed her top marks for this Q&A session was definately her closing. I mean come on! By doing all that she suggested, US WOULD BE ABLE TO BUILT UP THEIR FUTURE FOR THEIR CHILDREN....or such as!'


*sniff sniff

I wonder if i know anyone like that...

Hi chien! *waves frantically*

____________________________________________
This clip is equally entertaining.
Enjoy :)


Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Wanna Have Your Babies Too!

Natasha Bedingfield

I love this girl.

Not only is she a gifted songwriter, she's also a fantastic singer at that.

One tune that captured my attention in her latest album, NB, was soulmate. Written with simple elegance, she's managed to describe what so many of us feel or have felt once upon a time. I mean one only has to study the chorus of this song to realise this girl knows what she's talking about. And to combine such powerful lyrics with an equally powerful tune PLUS her voice? Double combo tripple kill i tell 'ya!


Soulmate
by Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone



I would put her song up on imeem for u guys but i'm swamped with studying right now and i just cant be bothered. So ya all will just have to download it for yourself. Trust me, its worth it!

Happy listening :D

Bored?

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Strange

Sometimes i want to write about so many things. Theres so much inside me that needs to be expressed, to be forever entombed in this eternal cyberspace of junk. And yet, the keyboard stays silent. No sounds of the clickety-clacks of fingers typing. No flowing of words that comes from the heart.

Its strange how the past two months could possibly be one of the best periods in my life but still there is no records of it here in this journal. This journal that has been with me for a much longer period then i had anticipated. 'Just a phase' i told myself when i first started writing.

Perhaps its just the timing. Choosing to write about happy times when one is down and frustrated sure hinders progress. It blocks the mind from being productive.

These four walls that have been my grave for the past 1 week sure feels constricting. To look at the same old dull furnitures from the moment i wake up to the time i lay my puny head to sleep. I know what i need - a change of environment. But time is my constraint. Time is my luxury.

The internets not helping either. Right now, i'm having trouble logging on to some of my favorite blog sites. My only connection to the outside world has been eliminated. Strangely, the other sites work fine. Maybe those pesky government agents are up to something. With elections coming up, who knows to what extend politicians will go. After all, with all the publicity blogs have been getting recently, perhaps someone has finally realise how big a threat blogs can be.

.......................

Anyway, i'm too tired to go on. Ramblings at wee hours of the nights are strangely therapeutic but also exhausting.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

QUACK QUACK QUACK

Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack....


Ok so i've held my silence for quite some time now but i just cant stand it anymore. The new song by Ahli Fiqir is just...AWESOME!!

And since everybody rolls their eyes at me whenever i tell them this, the only person (or thing) that will actually listen (without passing judgement, might i add!) is my trusty ole blog (whom i've neglected for quite some time now).


Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack....

Sama pandai, sama bodoh
Sama tepok, sama bongkok


Sometimes i think i'm enjoying life too much :D


Anyway i was thinking about when i'll have to move to my obscure residence once uni starts, and how lonely i'll be without my baby to accompany me on my daily gallivants, or to shush him while i'm watching tv, or disturb me while i sleep.

So its obvious i have to start looking for some sort of replacement. I doubt it'll be easy to fill that void that he'll leave. All that love and care, the way he looks at me, that strong embrace, those...


*click click*


Ek! So cute.......SET!

*5 minutes later and his replacement was found.




Arent they just adorable?

Anyways i've always wanted a dog but mum has always been against it. Insisted that i wont be responsible (actually hardworking more like it) enough to take care of it and it'll end up being her job to take care of the dog.

Well......i do admit i'm out of the house very often,
and yes.....i do occasionally forget to do my chores.......
but still........

So here's my chance. I'll be staying by myself so obviously the dog will have to be my responsibility. And i forsee shitloads of free time as well because, lets just say that entertainment there is scares.

OMG i'm getting excited just thinking about it!
(no, not in that way u dirty minded freaks! -.-)

Anyways, now i just have to find one heck of a cute puppy





.........





hmmm





Ok so it looks like the bf is not gonna get replaced that easily after all.

But i would appreciate it if anyone out there know of anybody wanting to give away any puppies to kindly contact me.

Caring, loveble and responsible boy *cough*bullshit*cough* seeking to find companionship. (This is starting to sound like some dodgy male-seeking-male site now -.-)

*hops off doggie finding

Monday, June 25, 2007

I Wonder

How far will a person go to get money

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Big Boys Dont Cry

Potted plant, oh potted plant
sitting in the middle of the garden
how pretty you look,
your leaves all green, your petals full bloom
you've got all the sun you need,
and all the water that you want
And yet they dont know, oh no they dont
of the stifling heat that burns you petals
or the excess water that rots your roots
and yet you struggle to survive
and yet you try to be strong
and not a sign you try to show
you glitter with beauty on the outside
and nobody knows of the truth
oblivious, they envy you
not knowing that you're dying inside
oh no they dont
and none the wiser they look at you,
admire you
until one day they come to find
a plant withered and dead

__________________________________________________________

~ Fairytales dont always have a happy ending, do they? ~


Troubled Heart

Trapped in a shell drifting with the current
surrounded by shimmering beauty of the ocean
and fishes swim by and brushes against it
their gentle fin and a ripple the only mark
of a presence that will only fade with time
this uneasiness, this sudden jump
to live in such fear is no way to live

Saturday, June 09, 2007

PARTY!

UV NATION TONIGHT!

Get your act on!

Cant wait.

Monday, June 04, 2007

First Day

Sry boys and girls for the lack of post but this boy has joined the working world now...for 2 months la.

And i cant believe that tomorrow will be only my second day and i'll have to attend a meeting that will stretch for 5 to 6 hours! No wonder they say advert guys are crazy...CRAZY I TELL YOU!

But today was fun. And from the briefing i got today, i have a feeling that i'm gonna enjoy my time here. Everything is so relaxed and the people awesome bunch. All fun to be with with just a touch of drama queens in each of them LOL.

And amongst the multitude of serong peeps in my company, the cutest guy has to be straight

-.-

So sad

Hahahaha

K i need my sleep now if i am to stay awake tomorrow.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

The Dream


The tides grow strong, it washes me away
i want to go one way,
but the current pulls me in many directions
Alone, in the multitude of people
Alas, alas - nobody understands
A single page leaves me longing
for a life i would not have
Time travel a dream
- or is it?
Inward I reflect
of a desire i cannot speak of
who here will truly understand me?
who now can i confide in?
This secret part of me
- always a secret part of me

Is history a curse
or part of life as it is
I walk this beach alone
the footprints i leave behind
is only mine
The one that walks beside me
that carries me through troubled times
a myth, only a myth
I want to believe, need to believe
and yet i remain skeptical
torn between desires
A choice between two hearts
and one will break in the end
a kaleidoscope of dreams
reflections of many
refraction of none
it all becomes one
and many into none

Thursday, May 31, 2007

So after 4 days of RnR I'm finally back from Bali.

OMG you wont believe the sights they have there! And I'm not talking about structural stuff, purely physical. I've nvr seen so many beautiful, beautiful abs staring back at me in my entire life! (Ok la so maybe i have but that was a long time ago)

Note : Bali is no place for a gay boy to be in with PARENTS! Not unless u want them to see the pooling saliva drooling from your mouth, the darting eyes, and the tenting bulge.

Seriously, took such effort to restrain myself from looking (Board shorts aren't very good cover for a growing erection). Hell even the guy peddling keropok looked yummy enough to eat. Wonder how much he would go for :P

Anyway, I cant stress how much i love that place. Whats not to love?! Food there was awesome (Think lobster meals going for RM50...FOR THREE!) Plus the whole place there is like this giant Chee Chiong Kai! Bought loads of shirts and board shorts for 10 bucks average. I just hope that red shirt i bought is colour fast tho.

And i finally went for my first massage. No biggie la. I think i was pretty relaxed then so not much knots to massage away, but still it was relaxing. Melted like putty in her hands. Maybe it would have been better if it was a he. Oh well, beggars cant be choosy can they now.

The bf is so gonna kill me when he read this! LOL

My advice for those thinking of a holiday, consider Bali if you have a big enough group of friends to go with. It would be much better, unless you intend to go to some quiet, tropical getaway for a lil honeymoon. In that case, dont stay in the city (Kuta) but go for some place in Nusa Dua. Didnt get a chance to go there myself but i heard its paradise.

Kuta is for people to PARTY, PARTY, PARTY!

Sigh, I'm already missing that place now. Was really down when we had to leave finally.

Change of future plan la. I'm so gonna retire there and be a beach bum.



ps : Guess what? They even have Krispy Kreame there! For those of you who dont know what they are, they're donuts that are TO DIE FOR! I have 2 dozen in my fridge now :p

Sunday, May 27, 2007

I drew a circle on the canvas of life
but the ends never met, i didnt know why
and then you showed up, and picked up the pen
and guided my hands, you made those ends meet

From that day on, i knew it would be
that life as i knew it, would change totally

I'm happy when you're happy
I grow sad when you're sad
I laugh at the sight of your laughter
I cry at the sight of your tears

Tho the journey was tough, with storms in our path
Tho the journey still is, with thorns in our side
Tho my heart sometimes grow weary having to decide
I never regretted the day i met you

And I love you

Love oh love, such a strong word
I kept it inside for such a long time
not wanting to say it in fear the meaning lost
should the timing be wrong just a second too short

But love is now, and love is us
I feel it in you, i hope you do too
The deeds that you do, your actions so loud
I'm constantly assured, of a love i'm so proud

Baby i love you!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Brain Dead

tapity tap tap

Only 2 more days till my departure and i have yet to complete a long list of task i'd set myself to complete b4 leaving.

Its terrible. I've been feeling super lazy this hols, alternating between lazing around the house watching tv and going out with the bf ONLY. And my room is in the exact state it was during exam period, aka super messy with notes everywhere. Sometimes i wish i had a maid. But then again i dont trust them, and who knows where my notes will all end up if i ever need them again. Oh well...

Will be going to view my future house tomorrow :D All psyched up now and hoping it will be nice. I'll hate it if i had to stay in an old, run down house for the next one yr. But i heard its nice so fingers crossed.



Wah...seriously, my brain is on shutdown mode. Cant write anymore. Perhaps i shall switch to one of those picture blogs and let them do the talking instead. K la wont write anymore crappy post for now. Grr

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

My Bouncy Penis!

I've got a bouncy penis. Its all squashy and soft and elastic. You can do whatever you want with it and it just pops back in shape again. Five people has already witness my penis being smashed onto an aluminium table and its still alright. Really, i have one hell of a durable penis.

Of course, i'm not talking about the one that comes attached to me la.

This ones made in Thailand :P

However, its not very useful if you ask me. I mean whats the point of having a soft dick right? So now it sits on my table looking very very obscene, jingling away merrily each time its touched.

I bet i could make some old perverted men happy tho if i just went around holding it infront of my pants. You know, that voyeur thingy where they get all excited thinking that they had a peek at your goods. Seriously, this thing can look quite real from afar if you dont look at it for too long. One might think that i have a cute healthy pinkish looking penis hanging :P That is if i dont get arrested for indecent exposure first la.

So if any of u guys are interested in viewing my bouncy penis let me know la. You'll nvr know which one i might post up.

HAHAHAHA

I feel like such a whore.

I cant wait to show it to the bf tomorrow.

I have too much time.

I have to clean up my room....someday.

I talk rubbish.

Ta

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ok i think i've kept my silence for long enough.

Truth be told, i've been meaning to blog for quit some time now but somehow always manage to 'lose the feeling' whenever i face my screen. Besides, i've done nothing blog-worthy so far so nothing much to say la.

Anyway thanks alot to those that gave me encouragement throughout the rough patch i was going through. Not so emo now. Calm enough to think logically and plan my next step la at least.

....

*blink blink*

....

K i've actually got nothing to say. Well, goodnight folks.

Muse...come back!

ta

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running
Keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Thursday, May 17, 2007

it's been a good journey.

and like all good journeys, this one might come to its end.

too much tears have fallen.

i dont know how this will end.

and i'm just so tired.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

FUCKED AGAIN AND AGAIN

Just when i thought the worst was over, the wind blows and brings me a new storm.

Sometimes i dont know if God sits up there on his throne and deals out turmoil on peoples life just for the fun of it. Sure seems that way to me. I pray for safe journey and thank him for his grace, but he says 'Oh no child, thats just the calm before the storm. Wait till you see what i have in store for you' and snickers.

And i hate it that my holiday is now ruined.

The break i've been looking for in ages has now turned into a warfield once again, and i feel just like a little boat drifting out at sea with an impending doom. I hate what they did to me. They had no rights! Fuck!

Sry if i dont reply ur msg on sms or msn, i've lost all mood for socializing. I wouldnt be much fun anyway.


A lifetime of pain all brought up in an instance
A lifetime of healing all ripped from the seams
A lifetime of thinking all has to be undone
A lifetime of suffering all imminent


FUCK THIS SHIT!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Its Over!

And with that he takes a great leap across the finish line.

The tortures finally over. And my 4 month holiday starts today!

WEEEEEEEE!

I'm so tired right now, my eyes keep closing but i cant sleep. Wanted to get a haircut after exam then take a nap but my hairstylist will only be free at 5pm so i have to wait. Sigh.

K will probably post more later. Brain juice depleted!

Ta

Sunday, May 13, 2007

The Final Hurdle

just a little bit more

hope i dont trip at the end

that would be an embarrassment

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Captain Procrastinator

Sometimes i hate myself so much

I Have Weird Friends

[Cy] : last nite i had sucha weird dream
[Cy] : like mega weird

kev : what was it about?

[Cy] : i dreamt i was someone else last nite
[Cy] : and i went to the toilet
[Cy] : and shit so damn much
[Cy] : it started accumulating til overflow
[Cy] : the floor all got
[Cy] : my feet was covered with shit!

kev : WTF!

[Cy] : then i somehow kicked all the shit off the toilet floor into the bowl and the floor was damn clean! and my shoes were damn clean also
[Cy] : then i went out
[Cy] : got other stuff but i forgot. but i think someone went into the toilet after that hahahaha and complained abt someone shitting
[Cy] : HAHAHAHAHA


Tell me i'm wrong

-.-

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

A Breath of Relief


Phewww!


Finally, two papers down. I cant describe just how relieved i am. After a month of seclusion with a daily routine of only two things, study and eat (ok la plus tv and internet too :P), i cant say i'm absolutely pleased with how things went for the two papers but i'm contented. Now its up to fate, luck and God, take your pick.

But as always, the worst is still yet to come. Monday will be my final and toughest paper this semester and i'm absolutely shitting my pants thinking about it. A combination of two subjects into one 3 hour long paper, add one rubbish lecturer and another fucking strict one, and you've got yourself one hell of a time. Literally.

_________________________

My friends dont believe me when i tell them i'm at home.
They call me on fridays and ask me to come out, and when i'm staying home to study....they laugh!

-.-

Dont blame them tho. Tried thinking back to the last time i was at home on a friday night and...nope cant even remember when. Theres just something about fridays that makes you wanna go out and just do something different besides the usual stuff.

The one thing i'm craving the most now is MAHJONG. I have to admit that the hands been getting pretty itchy lately and i cant wait to just play the game whole night long then go out for dim sum breakfast in the morning. Yes yes...i'm becoming such a tai tai.

_______________________

Tried working out today and man, my stamina is gone. Zilch. Nada. Couldnt do the weights i usually do! Couldnt last for more then 3 reps! Thank god i can still last on the cycle machine albeit looking alil zombified by the end of it. This is why i dont wanna join FF, Cali or any other big gyms. I dont get it how some people can run for half hour and still step off looking like a million bucks. NO FAIR!

________________________

Thats it for today. If you've read till here, you've just wasted like 5 minutes of your time with my ramblings. And i probably hate you for actually having time to waste! :P


Relax take it easy

Sunday, May 06, 2007

5 Minute Quikie

I shouldnt be doing this, not when exams are just a day away. But i'm so bored i could die. So its either this or well...die. And i'll rather prefer not to die seeing i've missed so much this whole month just preparing for my impending doom (unlike some lucky person whose exams got deferred to a later date! *evil stare).

Been thinking of changing my blog site to either livejournal or xanga because blogspot is so damn slow to log in. Takes up like 5 minutes of my very very very precious time just to get to the sign in page, then another 5 minutes to view the dashboard, AND another 5 minutes to create a new post! Grrr...thats like 15 minutes of my life wasted just waiting. Cant decide tho between livejournal or xanga. But i probably wont change until i have time to learn some webdesigning skills. Cant stand the layouts of both those mentioned sites. So void of erm...personality.

And yes, once again i've been planning my things to do ALREADY for when the holidays come. Dont wanna miss out on doing anything due to poor planning :P So far theres 4 trips booked but the one i'm looking forward most is Bali.

Weeee.......

Cant wait to just chill out and relax once i get there. Not to mention shopping! Can anybody tell me if i can get nice singlets there? Or do i have to get them here before i leave. I plan to be a proper tourist! *giggles*

Bad thing is i'll be going with the parents. Ok so not exactly bad cos they ARE paying for my trip, but i guess no clubbing or drinking or checking out the local gay clubs there this time around. I guess getting hammered will have to wait for when i go to PD. Oh and this time i am so gonna have myself a proper spa experience! I'm so glad my mum brought it up because i told her i'm gonna tag along and thats final. Lol.

Oh man...rejuvenate before regurgitate O.o

Not forgetting my beloved clubs too! How i've missed the sweet sweet beat of trance, the ear shattering boom of bass and the sights of sweaty men. The bf is so gonna pengsan if he ever reads this! He's a protective guy, that bf is. Even suggested that i only go clubbing with him. I just told him that he'd better keep most of his weekends free then :P But i love him to bits!

Well i planned to go on about how sweet he is and all that lovey dovey stuff but i shall not cause any excessive sweet post induced diabetic attacks for today. Besides, its time to get back to the boring stuff again.

Sigh!!!

If only i was Hiro! I could just speed up time at my whim. Ok maybe i cant speed up time yet cos i'm not prepared. Slow it down? Shit i cant stand an additional day of this mental torture. Damnit no wonder i dont have superpowers! I wouldnt be able to use it at all!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Terbaik Untukmu


Aku sadar kalau kini

Kita sudah smakin menjauh
Sempat aku berpikir ini
Kau yg menginginkannya
Lepas dari pelukku

oh kini aku sadari
ini salahku
tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali

maafkanlah bila ku selalu
membuatmu marah dan benci padaku
ku lakukan itu semua
hanya tuk buatmu bahagia

mungkin ku cuma tak bisa pahami
bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku
aku cuma ingin jadi terbaik untukmu

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini bersamaku
Jangan Pergi
Berikan satu kesempatan
Untuk ku membuktikan
sesungguhnya cintaku

~Tangga - Terbaik Untukmu~


Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Bleh


"with simple words i pray

that this day will quickly pass away"


Kev is bored, uninspired and frustrated!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Sexual Tension

Everybody's preparing for the biggest party of the year.

2 Major Events!

4 Days of dancing!

A thousand sweaty men!

...and i'm gonna be stuck at home studying :'(

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Relationship

Read quite a few post on 'gay' relationship recently (or maybe its already so last year, whatever la), so here's my two cents worth.


Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

~Gwen Stefani - 4 In the morning~


OK so its not exactly MY two cents worth, its Gwens. But read the lyrics carefully and you'll see that she's got it right. Relationships take work. In order for it to work two people has to actually want it and give it their all if they really want it to last.

Personally, i dont see what the big deal is about gay or straight relationships or how they differ from each other. As has been debated long and hard by others, straights have exactly the same problems that we have. Maybe the only difference is that we're already cursed with a stereotype - and that is all gays fool around. Maybe that's an excuse we give ourselves whenever we succumb to temptation. I have to admit that is the biggest flaw we have. I can understand how some people would use this to console themselves.

However its not so much the temptation as it is the act itself that matters. Not many guys are willing to give up a hot fuck. I mean lets get real, we're all a bunch of superficial twats. Who in they're right mind would pass a chance to sleep with that 6' 2 hunk with dreamy eyes and abs so chiseled you could sharpen a knife with? The mind instantly starts weighing the pros and cons of cheating. In the end, i assume most would come to the conclusion 'Its a chance of a lifetime! Seize it!'. Ta-da, ladies and gentlemen you've got yourself a scandalous affair.

Someone once said, relationship is more then just that lovely feeling. Yes boys and girls, in my opinion it take more work then love to make a relationship work. More so when you frequent clubs filled with pumping testosterone all fired up and on a mission. Dont for a second think that the guy eyeing you gives a fuck if you're attached. Its your duty to think about that, not him.

Its only when one is willing to give up a quickie with that Greek God, only then are you commited to the relationship. Stop thinking about the missed chances and just put faith in what you already have. Dont think about the regrets that you might have later, if say the relationship fails. And most of all, stop living by the motto 'Life's all about fun!'. Lets see how fun it is when you're 40 and saggy and all alone, and the only boys that are willing to hang out with you are rent boys.

As for myself, i decided a long time ago to first determine what i want. If its sex with beautiful random strangers then by all means go ahead, but do it single. I dont see the point in getting into a relationship and then sleeping around with other people and creating super sized dramas. Seriously, its too much hassle.

Ok so thats my take on relationships. This post was done in 30 minutes so pls dont shoot me down too much in your comments! lol

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Random Random Random

One can usually tell the transition period. Notice how my blog was full of post the last few weeks and then *poof* nothing? Well thats because i've finally completed all required assignments and my eyes were hurting so bad by the end of it that i didnt really feel like staring into the computer anymore then i needed to. Oh and i have all my notes on printed papers this time around too so i dont have to depend on my com.

And can somebody pls tell me how on earth do I ( <--- notice bold letter!) write a letter of recommendation for MYSELF!?!?!

Yes!!! You see the connection?!

Wrote to my lecturer yesterday requesting for a letter of recommendation and he replied saying he was busy and if i wanted it i'll have to draft out one for him and let him make some 'minor adjustments'! How on earth can i write my own letter of recommendation?!?! AND he'll be reading what I write about ME! Its like blowing my own horn! Damn perasan case lor!

JORRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways have to get back to work la and writing that damn PERASAN SYOK SENDIRI letter!

Oh and i have to say i love 3G *snicker*

Thursday, April 19, 2007

AND I'LL FORM THE HEAD!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

I just turned 10 all over again!

Ok kev breath...steady breath...thats it

Thanks to Joery i decided to youtube Voltron and sigh....I'm 10 all over again. I mean how cool are those robot lions! I remember how i used to desperately want to be part of their crew when i was young and owned a machine of my own. My parents did buy me one out of the five parts of that robot but refused to get me the rest. So all i had was one lion that formed the left side of the leg to play with. I would shout 'Go Voltron!' and then...er...well lets just say the transformation went way faster. My robot wasnt really that kickass. After all, what can one leg do? Hmm...come to think of it, actually my robot was pretty much ALL kickass!




ZOMG BRINGS BACK MEMORIES


Another of my favourite was Silverhawk. In case you've forgotten about them (shame of you if u did! They were the best kickass cartoon then!), they're the guys always in silver with wings tucked in there somewhere. My favourite was that small copper kid that throws a disc, cant recall his name. Oh and if you listen carefully, there's one part in the song where it goes 'Silverhawk, the rainbow in the sky!' LOLOLOLOL!! Men with pure gleaming six pack, hard as steel??? Maybe the show was gay! Nvr realised i was exposed to gay influence that early :P




"Wings of silver
Nerves of steel"

Lastly is Dinoriders. Remember loving all those dinosours with kickass weapons. OMG seriously i wanna go back to those good old days sob sob! Nowadays, the only cartoon i find amusing is Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, and thats because of the ever-so-cynical Bloo! (and yes i still watch cartoons, dun laugh!)

Nooooo....seriously, i cant explain what i'm feeling right now. Its like I'm so excited yet down. Its like a blast from the past, and the worst part is things will nvr be as they were. Only now do i realise how shitty it is to grow up. Totally understand why Peter Pan wanted to stay a kid now.

SOB SOB SOB

Ok back to studying.


Btw I tried googling the lyrics for Silverhawk and found this

"We're sorry but the artist has decided not to disclose the lyrics for this song."

WTF?!?!?!

Well dear artist, you're a sadist you know that! I hope you and ur song lyric are happy together u selfish bastard. Hmph!!!



ps: word of the day is kickass

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

When I Woke Up


______

"Goodbye my friend, you've taken a stroll

Down a path unknown, you've left me alone
I wake up to find you're no longer there
In dreaming you went and never looked back

You leave me disheartened, broken and down
Without you I walk aimlessly around
As bright as the sun shines, the weathers still cold
The sky is a void, a gaping black hole

But now i feel better, you're back by my side
Our journey through life, our path coincide
Tho still not fully, i know it takes time
Let happiness return when chemicals combine"

______


Clayton said my some of my post were hard to understand. Well to tell you the truth, i like to keep some things to myself. That's why i write metaphorically (or try to at least). See if you can decipher this one :P

Monday, April 16, 2007

A Horrible Monday

...for green Volvos.

At least today wasn't all that bad for me. Had a presentation that went pretty well. Still some problem with our design project tho but at least we're at the final stage. Now all there is to do is finish up 2 more reports and full steam ahead for exams.

On my way back, it started to rain...heavily...AGAIN!

Seriously, this is getting quite irritating! I mean one day of like super heavy rain is alright, maybe get into the mood of reminiscence as you drive with emo songs playing full blast on your radio. Two days ok la still can get melancholy about life and things like that. But three days is just stupid ok! Its so not fun driving at 60kph with a window of opportunity to actually see where one is going for like 5 seconds before everything goes blurry again! Grrr...

Caution : Long winded story starts here :)

Anyway, the rain finally subsided to a drizzle. I was driving at the fast lane just chilling, trying to decide if i should nap when i get back (pls dun get jealous u working people :P) when suddenly i saw this Volvo from the corner of my eye trying to cut in to the middle lane. What happened for the next erm...1 minute?? was quite surreal. I can finally say that i've witnessed an accident in the making now instead of always only seeing the end results aka STUPID TRAFFIC JAMS!

Well as i was saying, this Volvo tries to cut in to the middle lane when his car skidded and the driver lost control of the car. In slow mo Ala matrix style, the car spun round and round in a path that took him from the middle lane to the slow lane.

Now the funny/unfortunate (depends on how u look at it) thing was that there was this car driving in the slow lane, and he was probably one of those anal careful drivers that check his side mirrors, wipers, adjust rear view mirror and seat belts before starting off on a journey. Well there he was happily driving slowly, being cautious on the road because it was raining like the advert on radio told him to, when BANG! Some stupid Volvo clips his back in the midst of its impromptu roller coaster ride and sends him running straight into some bushes beside the highway.

Not feeling satisfied, the Volvo continued on with its path of destruction, like MixFM's tornado challenge, going from the slow lane to the fast lane where I WAS DRIVING! Actually took me awhile to realise it was coming my way la cos i was too engrossed watching what was happening (would have stepped out of my car to get popcorns too if there were any available :P) but thank God i did so i immediately slowed down and switched on my hazard lights. In the end the Volvo hits the divider that sends him reeling back to the slow lane and finally stops there.

Now...know why i said it was all so surreal? And its not because i was traumatized or anything like that. Its because the whole time the car was spinning and causing havoc, not a sound could be heard! I didn't hear any tyres screeching or brakes being jammed. I didnt even hear anything when the Volvo smashed into the other car! All i heard was the constant pitter-patter of the rain and the song being played on radio...as if nothing was happening. I guess somebody forgot to add THX to this movie.

Well as bad as i may sound, i was actually quite concerned the whole time but i'm pretty sure nobody got hurt. Maybe a whiplash at most from all that spinning but he deserves it la for driving so fucking fast when its raining. I pity that innocent anal careful driver tho.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

When Money Matters

" I used to love taking photographs here.
What happened?
People started paying me. Took the fun out of it."

-extract from Catch and Release

Friday, April 13, 2007

Chronic Obsession

Its crazy i tell you! A song like that should be banned! Its been stuck in my head for two whole days now and i just cant get it out of my mind. When i'm at the computer i have it on loop for hours and when music is non-accessible i hum it in my head and actually crave to listen to it, so i keep switching radio channels in hopes that one of them might have it on their play list. CRAZY I TELL YOU!




Gwen Stefani - Sweet Escape

If I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say

I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world

And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?


If I could be sweet

I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape


(I wanna get away, to our sweet escape)

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point

Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground


So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy

Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
By the way the you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me


If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl

Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt

Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape


Whohoe, whihoo

Whohoe, whihoo
Whohoe, whihoo
Whohoe, whihoo

If I could escape


Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place in my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?


If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape






I love her to bits! Even from the time she was in No Doubt, one could clearly tell that she was a trendsetter with those outrageous costumes that she dons on. Styles that were definately unique but she was able to pull it off unlike some. Now, 15 years down the line this girl has achieved major success. A mum with a fashion line and 2 albums under her belt, Gwen looks all ready to conquer the world. How can anybody not love her?!

Oh and Sweet Escape? I think this is one hell of a song that can almost bring out the diva in me...almost. That whole platinum blond look, Harajuku Girls, sigh....shes definately got it right!

Well its off to obsessing over the song again, no time to write anymore. Exams are in 3 weeks time and in another week i'll be starting my 4 months holiday. Jealous anybody :P Dont be cos i might be working, fingers crossed.

Elated

I'm so excited but there's nobody to call :(
Everybody i wanna talk to is either asleep or not talking to me.

Lucky i still have my trusty old blog.

Anyway just a quick one so i will remember this day.

Was chatting to a certain someone when i decided to ask for his opinion on internship prospects other then engineering line when he suggested his company. Weee! Its an advertising company and I'm really excited about working there now. Wonder how's it gonna be like.

Bad side to it tho is there might not be any pay in it. Hmm....i say its worth the experience but i'm gonna have to live like a pauper even when i work! Whats this man! Poor being a student, now poor working!

Oh well...i guess one cant ask for the best of everything right?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Sweet Escape

Its been a good day, productive to say the least. Perhaps it was the appearance of a special someone. Or maybe it was the unexpected results that he got. Its been long since that feeling was last felt. A sense of pride and worth.

And then it rained. Dark clouds that blocked the sun and sent the earth into darkness, or at least part of it. The drizzle soon becomes rain, and rain became storm. Suddenly, the world starts to fade away behind a watery curtain. Buildings up ahead begins to dissolve and mountain disappears. All he can see is the speckle of lights from other lonesome travellers like him.

Its hard to explain the emotions that he's feeling. Comfortable? Safe? Relieved? Perhaps its all those or perhaps its not. All that he knows is that the rain didnt bother him. Dark as it was, he could still see the end of it. Somehow he feels there is a message somewhere, though yet to be deciphered. He drives on with the radio blaring away.

It was horrible weather. How he wished he was at home, tucked safely under his comforter with a good book to read and maybe some cookies and a tall glass of cold milk by his side. Ah to be young and free again. Somehow, stress has become a part of his life.

But yet today was different. It was the same and yet it was different. His problems were still there. Work still piled undone on his desk and books stacked high waiting to be read. But a smile carves its way across his face. It was different. And then the rain stopped, just as Gwen Stefani's 'Sweet Escape' came on.

Cravings

I crave for the illegal.

Once again my mind dwell on the colourful, to taste the forbidden fruit that comes in so many different forms and flavours. The music adds to the rush. I know i should stop, but its too late. The seed has already been planted - the thought of the apple inside.

So much left unattended, unresolved. But yet time is what i lack. It fills my mind with thoughts, yet i push them aside for what requires my immediate attention. Maybe its a mistake, who knows what time will do? But for now, only one problem at a time. I crave for relieve.

I stand here wondering, trying to see into the future. To tell of consequences, to predict results. But all is blank. Abilities lie in a world of fantasy and i'm rudely brought back to reality. But Superman is no fantasy of mine, he's real. If only i could get a touch of him now. Reality dissolves. The Hand supreme.

Resist i must. Resist i will. For the time of fantasy will come soon. But the mind must rest now.


"But I want to
Feel you touch you know you

And I want to
so I let you set me free
Into sweet misery
Sweet misery"

Tiesto - Sweet Misery

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Crazy Japs

Anybody think the Japs are crazy? Watch these clips then tell me!





Seriously, have they no law against these kindda pranks?

However, throw in a really cute guy and it could actually be voyeuristic porn for some of u :P
Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Simple Love

One thing i love about him?

All those free CD's :P


I've been trying very hard not to fall too fast or too deep into it this time. Blame it on experience but like i've said before, i approach love with much more cynicism now. Even while everything was rosy i still had my doubts - the usual questions of what ifs and is hes'. Whats more scary is the fact that he was a total stranger, no way of doing any kind of background check of what kindda guy is he. Of course i had to take extra precautions, i was entering uncharted grounds.

I do admit however, i was still caught up in the moment. Its like driving a Ferrari but asking it to do 70kph on an empty highway - its possible but highly unlikely. I guess somethings never change eh!

"Begitulah wajah cinta
tak cukup sejuta kata"

Wanted to say more but somehow i find that words cant describe anything i want to say. So i guess i'll just enjoy the ride and see where it leads us to.

Malacca

Not really in the mood for a full post so here's a brief outline of my weekend (if anybody's interested la :S)

-Went down to Malacca
-Missed Speedzone party because of Malacca :'(
-Ate lots n lots of food in half a day - wan ton mee, hei piao oh (hmm this is hokkien for erm some fishball thingy la), satay, satay celup, chow mien, oo jien (fried oyster).
-Slept the remaining half of the day
-Missed a chance to cuddle in my babys arms to sleep.
-Missed Easter Sunday service
-Got bitten by A HELL LOT OF MOSQUITOES!
-Was so freaking hot the whole day! (N my mum dragged me to walk with her up St Pauls hill sommore!)
-Saw some cute guys in Jonker Walk
-Finally got a nice cross pendent in Jonker Walk
-Saw a gay guy doing line-dancing on stage with a bunch of old ladies in glittery clothes (he was good tho)
-Saw a Kwai Lou girl crying at the foot of Bkt Cina (For u guys unfamiliar with Mlk, Bkt Cina is littered with old style cemetaries, think old chinese ghost stories :P)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Generation UnGap

Ok so lately i've been posting up alot of vid. Kindda told myself to write up a proper post for today but i stumbled across this vid that was TOO FUCKING HILARIOUS! To not post it up would be a crime. Its in Mandarin but dont worry if your a banana like me, you'll enjoy it too!



This rap was brought to you by...


LAO ZHA BOR!

And she even has a blog! Go check out her site here.

'Shi Bu Shi Jai Kai Wan Siaoo!'

Anyway, i guess this is what you really call bridging the generation gap. But somehow, its rather disturbing. I dont even wanna think about how its gonna be if i ever find out MY grandparents have a rap album coming out!

Well, all the best LAO CHAR BOR! I support you...as long as you dont ever influence my grandparents or give them crazy ideas. If you do, i'll be sueing you for emotional trauma, I SWEAR!


ps: OMFG! After listening to it for like a million time, i think i'm actually starting to like this song! Anyone else thinks its catchy? :S

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Vids

I need your help guys. Found this trailer on my com which i downloaded some time ago and remembered really wanting to catch this film. Unfortunately i dont really know how to go about finding it as its in chinese and a foreign gay film. If anybody has any idea on how to get the dvd i would be eternally grateful to you. Thanks.

Eternal Summer (trailer)


Oh and i really love the music as well, if anybody knows where to get it...lol thanks
_____________________

And heres another clip. Pretty disturbing i would say, but its also a must watch. This one courtesy of Ray for introducing it to me. Enjoy!

Ernest And Bertram

A Parody

Love her voice and somehow, this song works.

Alanis Morissette 'My Hump'

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A Tale Of Good And Evil

My mum is rearing snails...really.

Today i came back from uni only to be greeted on the front porch by a tupperware of snails.

Ever since i moved to my new place some time back, the garden has been the pride and joy of my mum and dad. This is not to say that they are superb gardeners with a natural green thumb, or that my garden is exceptionally pretty, but rather they have put much more effort into it this time around compared to before.

Never before have they shown this much interest in potted plants or taken so much time and effort to ensure every foliage in the house remains vibrant and more importantly, alive. Of course there has been the occasional plant murder when my dad would accidentally put too much fertiliser in one pot or viciously dig out that poor defenceless papaya tree that my mum planted (he doesn't believe in the practicality of having a fruit tree in the house :S) but all in all, i would say that they're doing quite well.

So imagine their horror one day when they found their beloved garden infested with snails. No idea where those little fellers have been hiding all this time but they sure like a grandeur appearance. It was as if a whole clan reunion was taking place right here in our garden and everywhere u turned u could see snails. Ok so i may be exaggerating a lil bit, but yeah there were quite a few la.

Without hesitation, my mum started her conquest to rid her precious retreat from these pest. She scoured the area high and low, leaving no stone unturned literally. The snails were handpicked one by one and off into a tupperware they went. When she was done, she smiled. Emerging triumphant, she could once again breath easily knowing that her lil garden was once again safe. Little did she realise of her final obstical.


'What should i do with these?' she turned to ask me.


'Kill it la! Squash them all at once. Or better yet, pour salt and see them melt!' I replied with a wicked grin.


But being the softy that she is, my mum couldnt do it. She thought it was heartless if she killed those snails, even if they did pose a threat to her garden. So in the tupperware those wretched snails remain till this day still awaiting their judgement. Uncertain about their future. And if you listen carefully at the stroke of midnight on a clear silent night, when the moon is full and the air is still, you would hear the soft mourning of those greedy snails crying

'Woe is us! Woe is us!'

Monday, April 02, 2007

The Dark Side Of Emotions

Emotions are deceiving. They come as sudden as they go and often, we have to clear up the mess that they leave behind. Of course we only have ourselves to blame for being a victim of the moment. If only we had been strong.

Falling for somebody is easy, especially in a society where many are desperate for a meaningful relationship. All we need is a little attention, some form of pampering, and we think that we're head-over-heels for somebody. What happens then when the feeling goes away? Only then do we face reality and start with the rational part. Is he really the one for me? Can i really live with this guy? Worst still, do i really love him? Or was it all just a sugar rush?

Some say that relationship takes work. Work to forge a closer bond. Work to maintain that feeling. Work to ensure that trust. But even when a person goes beyond himself to satisfy the other, it doesn't always produce the desired results. Instead, the other party might just end up feeling more pressured to remain in the relationship, and that is a recipe for disaster.

I definitely felt that pressure once. I was with the sweetest, most caring guy anybody could ever wish for, and it was alot to live up to. In the end, i was left feeling indebted to him. By then, the feeling was gone. The rainbows had hidden behind clouds and birds stopped singing the song of love. Reality started sinking in, and i couldn't see myself with him anymore. But i owed him! And that was the worst part. I would be seen as the jerk if i left him, but would be living a lie if i continued. It ended eventually, but not without a huge mess as expected. Looking back, it was the right thing to do but i still cant help tasting that sour after taste every time i think back.

And maybe love is blind. Or maybe some people just don't want to see the obvious. An idealistic man trapped in a vicious world. What will happen when his bubble burst? What happens when he realises that even with all the securities to offer, sometimes its just not enough without that attraction as well? Maybe if he understood the concept of emotion, he would see that it was all but a dream. A sweet one that will turn sour if he does not let go. Or maybe he really is oblivious to it all?

In any case, i wish him well.

An idealistic man trapped in a vicious world.

If only he knew of emotions.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Turning St8

This clip is hillarious, i just had to post it up!




It Starts With Tomorrow

A few weeks ago i went to the gym wearing my specs because i was lazy to put on my contacts. Normally i would just wear them in the gym as well. Unlike some ppl i know, i do not like the feeling of seeing phantoms everywhere i go, aka blurred faces. That day however, i was planning to do alot more cardio thanks to all those late night snacking and sinful alco so i went about without my specs.

So there i was, happily cycling away those dreaded fats, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye i spot this shirtless dude. First thought was, omg its that old uncle again!

You see, theres this uncle probably in his 40ies i guess, who likes to do his workout shirtless. Given he's fucking strong (carries those big weights) but he has a horrible gut jutting out and lets just say its really not a pleasant sight at all. On top of that, he likes doing weird things too like erm...swinging from bars and climbing over railings to get to the other side of the room instead of just walking up a mere 3 step! Reminds me of a classmate i once had, weird guy.

Anyway i thought it was that guy but i did turn my head to look again, just because i was bored and was wondering what other weird things he would do today. Well, it wasnt that uncle. It was somebody else. Somebody with a much nicer body - tall, lean and well toned. Unfortunately, half blinded as i was, i couldnt really make out much la so i didnt really bother.

Today as i was working out again, thankfully with my contacts on this time, came this dude. He was wearing a long sleeve tee and again i thought to myself why would anyone workout in a long sleeve tee? Was Malaysia not fucking hot enough? Again, didnt really bother.

Then this guy goes into the washroom and a few minutes later emerged...topless. It was then that i realise that this was the same dude i saw the last time and my mouth nearly dropped when i saw the body that he had. OMG now i know who the Greeks took as models because this guy was CHISELLED to perfection.

Not those super muscular guy that everybody hates, but the lean and toned kind that can just melt er...anything la. One could see the perfectly sculpted chest, those deep grooves of his abs, and that super sexy line that divides the shoulders from the arms. Took every ounce of willpower to just not stare. No wonder its been such a fucking hot day, he obviously was around PJ!

Well even tho i couldnt stare openly, i sure gave him loads of glances. Just admirational glances mind u, not those lustful kind because i'm loyal :P But seeing him sure gave me determination to work harder to achieve the kind of body i've always longed for...his!



Then i went to mamak.



Then i ordered Nasi Lemak Ayam.



-.-



So much for determination eh?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Its the Stress Talking

A glimpse of the past
in a picture of the present
brings a sense of urgency
for what comes in the future


There are certain things i want to write but cant - or at least not over here. Perhaps the timing is right when he gave me that book. I love it to bits! And perhaps its time i channel my thoughts somewhere more personal now. Somehow, knowing some of the people that reads my blog has inhibit me from writing more personal stuff (some la!). I guess there are certain things that i would still like to keep to myself. Its a matter of pride, unfortunately.

Anyway workload is becoming unbearable. Some due to procrastination but mostly due to my own unintelligence. UGH! Will be so glad when i finally come out to work and do things that are actually logical again. When will i ever learn!


2 MORE MONTHS TILL HOLS!


Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sometimes I wonder

Ahh its pretty obvious isnt it, this blogs been abandoned for quite some time now.

*dust cobwebs away*

....

Dont know where to start so i shall just say this first,

I WANT NEED MORE MONEY!

Went shopping today, chasing brands we all could not afford, hoping to at least sniff out a good bargain but ended up greatly disappointed. The worst thing that can happen to a men is to grab hold of a fucking gorgeous pair of pants (LINEN AND OFF WHITE!) only to find its sooo not worth the price! Plus because of my *petite* size, as some would call me (grrr) some alterations have to be made that would incur an additional cost of RM35. I did not spend all that time in the gym just to pay more for clothes that are already extortionately priced!


___________________________


When my heart skips a beat
At the whisper of your voice
Is this love and all thats to it
Or a phase that just was?


Its sad when love has to be wary. Not that i worry alot about what he's doing or am untrusting, its just sometimes there will be a nagging thought or a flicker of doubt that passes by and i dont like that. I guess in a way, i have learned from past mistakes and experiences. Kindda surprised me alittle at some of the things i actually paused to consider before bouncing in head first like i usually do.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A Weird Post

In the end, all that griping worked. I guess someone does hear our wails after all, or maybe it was just really good timing...or maybe just desperation.

But i'm happy

I'm glad i went last Saturday

:)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Crappy Monday

Today has got to be the crappiest start to the week i've ever had in a long time.

Barely had enough sleep, woke up twice scratching. Had to drag myself to the toilet to splash water on the itch just so i dont scratch my legs off. I have to say its getting better now but i still find myself waking up scratching every so often.

Anyway, that made me extra tired but i had to wake up extra early to visit the blardy gas station. Next was the jam at Federal at the Jln 222 part which was short, so ok i thought i'd make it on time. But NoooOoOo it had to be jam from amcorp all the way to Midvalley too. To top it off, one of my lab parter claims to have fallen 'ill' and thus asking me to go collect the toolbox from his house.

Upon reaching there i find an unusual crawl exiting from his housing area because some fool parked his stupid fucking car by the road just before the exit, causing the left lane to have to wait with the guys in the right lane at a trafic light (left lane does not need to wait for the lights). Well after passing through that obstical finally, i was then confronted with idotic lorry drivers. Of course you'd have to expect it! I mean no crappy day is complete without fucking stupid lorry drivers who insist on crossing the road no matter if theres car on the other side or not and blocking the whole fucking road!

ROARRRRRRRRRRR

So to destress, i decided to go out for a movie at night. Was supposed to stay back to do some reading but i think a crappy day deserves a night out at least. Watched Bridge to Terabithia. I loved that show. Might be alittle slow for some but i just found that whole show to be really sweet. Reminds me of childhood innocence. Wont say anything more to spoil it for u guys yet to catch it.

Oh and while leaving the cinema, i had to reverse into a fucking pole which was so short it was out of view. Now theres a gaping hole in my back bumper. Such a great way to end a crappy day.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Terbaik Untukmu

It was an eventful weekend to say the least.

The plan was to go Aloha on Friday, be there by 12 (at least) and then leave by 1 something.

When will we ever learn that the impossible nvr happens.

We arrived at 12.30

We left when the lights came on.

And we weren't even in Aloha, we ended up in Passion...AGAIN.

But i have to say that it was a superb night. From the moment we stepped into the club until we left, the DJ played a fucking fantastic set that had everybody up n shaking their booty, grooving to the hard thumping sound of techno mix. Its official, I'm a club whore.

Then there was gossip.

Then there was drama (alil bit).

Some mamak.

And now its back to being single versus being in a relationship all over again.

Call it biological clock or whatever, but I'm finding myself wanting a relationship once again. I'm looking around and seeing couples doing things i once did, and suddenly the strings of loneliness starts strumming a mournful song. And yet I'm hesitant if I'll be able to commit to one. But more importantly, I've yet to find The One to start anything with, even if i wanted to!

I guess its no point really to lament on the pros and cons of a relationship if opportunity isn't even knocking at your door, but its always better to be prepared then to be caught unaware no? Not that I'm on the prowl now, because i always believe in love finding their way to the right hearts, but at the rate I'm knowing people i might as well just start taking knitting lessons now and start preparing for a lifetime of lonely celibacy! :(

Oh and since i'm lamenting, might as well just say this too...I HATE YOU MONDAYS!

Ok i have to sleep now, but i'll leave you with this sweet song (thanks Ray).


Tangga
Terbaik Untukmu

Aku sadar kalau kini
Kita sudah smakin menjauh
Sempat aku berpikir ini
Kau yg menginginkannya
Lepas dari pelukku

oh kini aku sadari
ini salahku
tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali

reff: maafkanlah bila ku selalu
membuatmu marah dan benci padaku
ku lakukan itu semua
hanya tuk buatmu bahagia

mungkin ku cuma tak bisa pahami
bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku
aku cuma ingin jadi terbaik untukmu

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini bersamaku
Jangan Pergi
Berikan satu kesempatan
Untuk ku membuktikan
sesungguhnya cintaku


There are some people that i'll always love, no matter what. Though the nature of this love may change, the fact is i'll always care.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Itchy Itchy Scratch

OMG SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ME!

I've been having this itch on my legs for days now and its still not going away. I find myself waking up at night just to scratch and not only is it disturbing my sleep, its also leaving me with SCARS! Now i look like somebody who'd just finished a game of rugby.

Been trying to eliminate all source of itch, starting from changing the bedsheets, to moping the floor, to sending all worn clothes to be washed, to bathing really, really, and i mean really clean and still the itch prevails! If this last any longer i think i might go insane and start scratching myself to death. Come to think about it, i think i've read a horror story once where someone used dark magic to make another person scratch himself to death. Hmmm......

Friday, March 02, 2007

Lights.Camera.Action.

Rejoice people for a superstar is born.

No longer am i just a mere mortal anymore, I now live on a higher level!

I have been encapsulated in a movie and shall now be remembered for the splendid performance i gave.

Generations will worship me!

Children will adore me!

The Oscar will idolize me!


OK i'm just joking.

So i finally got a taste of how life through the lens was like. Played a very small part in a local production as one of those faces in the multitudes you see on screen but nvr bother about (aka kalefare in canton) and it took damn fucking long just to please the director. Man not worth the money we were paid. Thank god i wasnt there alone or i would have just walked out halfway.

Reached the set about 7 plus. I have to admit i was quite excited as this was the first time i've ever seen a movie being shot up close and personal. You wont believe how much a little bit of lighting and playing around with the camera angle can create a beautiful backdrop when in actual fact its just being shot in some old uninteresting building. Such trickery!

Anyway we were made to sit there for ages after we arrived. Didnt even know if we would be accepted because i had mistaken a shirt for a tee. So there we were, wait, wait, wait, when finally they told us they had dinner provided for us and we would be briefed after eating. Huh? Nobody mentioned dinner, and me, ad and mich had KFC at KLCC!

Well they did brief us after dinner, and then the acting started. To cut a long story short, i've nvr shouted 'Merdeka' so many times in my entire life as i did in that one night. Neither has the phrase 'Hidup Tunku', 'Hidup UMNO', and 'Hidup MCA' been uttered from my mouth ever, and yet i think i said it enough to last me a lifetime and many more. Oh and the bitch (ok she was a nice lady actually) combed my hair like shit and really made me look like an AH PEK! Good god how on earth can i show my face now! I hope nobody ever recognises me, if they ever go watch that show in the first place la.

What was expected to be a 6 hour stint dragged on and on and on and finally, at BLARDY 3.30, they finally wrapped it up. OMG 80 bucks for eight n half hour is so not worth my time! I guess you cant put a price on experience, but i swore to myself that nvr again was i going for something like this (unless something interesting comes along la :P). So i guess i can finally strike of acting as a profession now.

Its time to move on.

Next stop, daredevil!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Lazy Day

After much argument discussion about which one is better, working life or studying life, I've come to the conclusion that indeed, studying is much better. I mean how many working people can claim a self-declared holiday from 3 hours of classes as i have done today?

Its great to be able to just lazy about at home, waking up to the periodic swishing sound of the fan and the sporadic passing of cars outside your window while still comfortably tucked under your soft duvet. Even though the holidays have just passed, its been more exhausting rather then recuperating for me. Countless numbers of late nights and drinking sessions, waking up after that in time for visiting, not to mention a grueling full day of lab and class yesterday has left me drained. Not my ideal way to start off classes but much needed.

Believe it or not but I've barely even had the time to log onto the Internet, much less surf the usual blogs/sites i normally visit, or catching up with my reading (be it studies or leisure). Fear not tho cos things are starting to get back to normal, and once more i can start having a semblance of an orderly life again.

Just to make sure there's no confusion about my previous post, no I'm not seeing anyone currently and that last paragraph was not written with anyone in mind. Its just one of my fears WHEN i do meet that someone that i like that's all.

I think the most hurtful thing a person can go through is rejection. Sometimes when i think about it, it really sucks to like a person (and i do mean LIKE and not just fall for him cos he's cute or superficial things like that) and not have those feelings returned, no matter how hard you try or what you do, there's no way of getting that person to feel for you like you do for him. A feeling of hopelessness, and all you can do is sit back and just pray one day that he'll return your love. I've had those moments, not very deep or serious, but still the hurt i felt. Imagine a full blown love attack!

Probably one of the reasons why i want to be perfect, so i wont ever face rejection.

Stupid idealism :)

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Monday Blues

Nothing much to say except that it was one hell of a week.

One week of non stop drinking

One week of non stop gambling

One week of non stop eating

One week of non stop visiting

In a way i'm glad its finally over, but i'm missing the fun already. Have a feeling its gonna be so hard adjusting back to reality again.


Recap CNY 2007
-someone makes cocktails
-someone was being a bitch
-more people found out about me
-more people accepted me
-won RM200
-drank every single fucking day! (UGH)
-camwhored with my new cam


I find that funny things run through my mind alot (not literally la of course) but too tired/lazy to write them down now. How does one 'dont think so much'?

___________________________


Sometimes i feel insecure around people that i like. Its like my flaws are amplified around them, and i'm the kind of guy who wants to be perfect for that special someone because well, i think they deserve it. In a way it puts a strain on the relationship and sometimes its best to just be yourself and see if that person can just accept you for the guy that you are.