Drunken Post

Hurrah! This will be the first drunken tipsy post of the blog. In my humble opinion, every blog should have one.

Ok so i'm not exactly drunk. The fact that i'm still able to write this should be a small indication, plus the perfect spelling (you dont know how many times i've hit the backspace button) and correct grammar usage, i guess i'm not that drunk after all. Even if i am, its the eve of the eve of christmas, so i have a valid excuse to be. Technically its really the eve of christmas now but fuck technicalities, i cant be bothered.

So i finally made that call to her. She was my best friend who stood by me thick and thin. I guess i'm using past tense here because we had a fall out recently. Come to think of it, i have a feeling that i'm cutting off all my old friends subconsciously. Anyway, she called me one day when i was high on drugs and i kindda lied to her about my whereabouts. Made some lame excuse that i'm out with my parents but unfortunately she called my house first before she made that call to my cell. Too bad my mum picked up the phone. You can never run away from lies. They run too fast and catch up to u eventually. A long story short (i cant really be bothered to write a long story now, especially since i'm hitting too many wrong buttons now) she got pissed that i lied, i got pissed that she got pissed and got pissed at myself that it spoilt my journey towards paradise, and now we're barely talking.

She was supposed to meet up with us today for some drinks but she had something to do before that (as usual). By the time she was coming (it could be cumming, a bunch of us were debating if that was what she meant cos she took a blardy long time in reaching) half the group had left and the other half, me included, were already tipsy and ready to start scavanging for food. Bad news tho was that she kindda met an accident while trying to find where we were. Wasnt a big deal, just a slight bump on her rear bumper, but she had lost all mood of hanging out so she headed back home. I gave her a call to make sure she was alright and we chatted alittle. Funny how we were once so close that i could confide in her my every problem to the minute detail and now a single phone call seems so hard.

We use to have talks about how we're going to meet up when we're all fifties and look back at old times and the memories we once shared. Honestly, i cant wait to grow old and look back at my life and figure out the reasons for all those bumps along the road. I always believe that we're all destined for something in life, that there is a purpose for our existance. What else is there to live for if not for that one sole purpose we were placed on this earth. There has to be much more to living then just earning a living and then dying. I'll rather just skip to the dying part then.

I've had plenty of time to think my life through...and i've finally decided what i'm gonna do with mine (or at least for the next 5 years of it). Theres gonna be 2 more years of studying, this time i'm gonna fucking get my degree. Then its off to work onboard a ship in the engine room for a year. After that, 2 years onboard an oilrig. I cant wait for life to finally start. But for now, its off to bed first because i'm gonna pass out anytime soon. Good night and Merry Christmas.

Guess its kindda like my life

I played tennis yesterday and now my ass hurts...dont ask. Serves me right because i was watching a tennis game on ESPN feat Hewitt just hours before we were gonna play. Naturally, when i got on court, i decided that maybe i wasnt too late for the ATP Tour tryouts and that playing pro couldnt be that hard. Of course i spent bout an hour just picking up balls that barely lasted 4 strokes per game (in my defence, the other guy i was playing against danced to swan-lake in a tutu on his toes better then he hit balls too...lol), but thats besides the point. The point is that i forgot to stretch my hamstrings and now my ass hurts, which i did tell u not to ask so i'm sorry i ever wrote this in the first place.

Anyway, moving along from hurting asses, I finally watched Narnia today. Might have been nicer if i had went with friends instead of my parents cos of how long it is, but my mum has been bugging me to bring her and we've not watched a movie together for bout 4 years now. Besides, it might help get me that pair of jeans i want from Guess for christmas...lol.

I had to admit that i was alittle edgy tho when we first entered the cinema because there were like this whole bunch of kids occupying the entire row behind and beside us. I generally hate noisy people in cinemas, except if they laugh, then thats excusable cos i do that all the time. I was practically fucking laughing the whole time i watched King Kong and friends ( i believe that the rest deserves equal recognition especially the bugs! ) that i kindda forgot it was a sad movie. Whats up with that girl that even a fucking T-rex would give up a nice fresh juicy giant iguana for her? Whatever rocks ur boat man. However, I guess with all the island girls as options, i would choose Naomi Watts anytime of the day. I did like one particular scene where they were filming onboard with the setting sun as the backdrop and she kinds of drifts off when she saw Jack Driscoll. But there were a few loopholes in the movie which i'm kindda lazy to type so i guess you'll just have to go see it for yourselves.

Note to self : Learn how to post pics

So i think its safe to say that there goes two more days of wasted idle spending. Not a word of studying done yet. But i am definately going to the gym tomorrow tho. Somehow faltered in my diet plans today and ate some unimaginably oily but increadibly delicious Hokkien mee. At this rate, my six pack is gonna be but a dream. How the fuck do guys actually get THAT ripped like in those billboards? Ah well, thats one more dream to add on to the wish-list. I bet that i would be showing more results tho if i actually had a gym partner who knows what to do because i have absolutely no idea of what i'm doing. I just go around trying to see what other people do and pick things up here and there. Guess its kindda like my life. Until i pick up all the puzzle and piece them together, I'm not gonna see the big picture.

Musing

So i knew that when the christmas hols started, i would have approximately 3 weeks to revise all that i'm supposed to know for exams, which starts in mid january. I also comforted myself during those times i'd skip miss lectures that i'll make up for it when the hols comes. Or that i'll just study harder for the next test. I guess that was how i fucked up miserably for my first degree. And at the rate i'm going, its gonna be deja-vu. God i hate procrastinating.

Just came back. Was supposed to be out till 12 max but its fucking 4am now.

Picked up a good friend from work and went to his house. He was gonna eat his dinner and then we were heading out to meet others. What a mistake! The moment we stepped into his house, his mum started screaming her head off at him. I guess he was right when he said it came from nowhere, but she started shouting at him about what he was doing with his life and the losers he was mixing with (yup thats me alright). We've always gotten along, me and his mum. But today she started saying things that really striked me as true. It was as good a wake up call as any others the things she said, although not directed at me. I guess what really pissed me off was not about the insults indirectly directed at me, but the fact that it was true. How fucked up can you be when your best friends mum thinks you're a loser. Pathetic.

I'd made up my mind when i created this blog that it wasnt gonna be one of those whiney one's i've created in the past. No more stories about how fucked up this world is. No more drama's about depression (tho i have to thank a special stranger who helped me along the way). No more excuses!

I guess i want to know that there's hope. A hope that there's still time to pick up the pieces and move on. As Hawkings said, "We are very very small. But we are profoundly capable of very very big things". I pray to God that there will be a reason to my existance at the end of this journey. Better things will come tomorrow.

The Start of A Journal

This will be the third time i'm starting a blog and hopefully its gonna last.