Funny how i never mentioned i loved you once while i still could.
Or thanked you for everything that you did for me.
Or the sacrifices that you made.

Funny how i always swore to get to know you better.
To learn the language that would connect us together finally.

And i hope you got my little hints through the small deeds that i did do.
I hope you know that i indeed appreciate you even though i never knew how to say it out loud.
I hope you know that i love you.

Its only now when your gone,
when i look through clear glass at your face while you slept on that i realise of so much more i could have done.

I keep remembering the way you smiled, of how my heart would light up knowing you were happy. For your life was filled with much pain. The fragile body in which you were trapped in made days hard to go by. I only pray that you can finally rest in the Lord, and that you are as peaceful as you looked.

Even now the reality of it all is just beginning to sink it. I didnt realise it would hurt this much now that you're gone. I keep wishing every minute that i can just turn back the hands of time. To see you one last time, to talk to you, to hold your hands.

Now the tears start flowing. The ache in my heart that i felt for these two days seem to just pour out. How is it that i would never be able to see you anymore. That the last time saw you would be the last time ever. Now all i have in remembrance is just a picture of you in the wall. And the only chance i would get to speak to you would be to your grave.

I love you Amah, i hope you know that.

Proton

A funny vid i got from the bf.