Musing

So i knew that when the christmas hols started, i would have approximately 3 weeks to revise all that i'm supposed to know for exams, which starts in mid january. I also comforted myself during those times i'd skip miss lectures that i'll make up for it when the hols comes. Or that i'll just study harder for the next test. I guess that was how i fucked up miserably for my first degree. And at the rate i'm going, its gonna be deja-vu. God i hate procrastinating.

Just came back. Was supposed to be out till 12 max but its fucking 4am now.

Picked up a good friend from work and went to his house. He was gonna eat his dinner and then we were heading out to meet others. What a mistake! The moment we stepped into his house, his mum started screaming her head off at him. I guess he was right when he said it came from nowhere, but she started shouting at him about what he was doing with his life and the losers he was mixing with (yup thats me alright). We've always gotten along, me and his mum. But today she started saying things that really striked me as true. It was as good a wake up call as any others the things she said, although not directed at me. I guess what really pissed me off was not about the insults indirectly directed at me, but the fact that it was true. How fucked up can you be when your best friends mum thinks you're a loser. Pathetic.

I'd made up my mind when i created this blog that it wasnt gonna be one of those whiney one's i've created in the past. No more stories about how fucked up this world is. No more drama's about depression (tho i have to thank a special stranger who helped me along the way). No more excuses!

I guess i want to know that there's hope. A hope that there's still time to pick up the pieces and move on. As Hawkings said, "We are very very small. But we are profoundly capable of very very big things". I pray to God that there will be a reason to my existance at the end of this journey. Better things will come tomorrow.