Comically Sad

Obsession

2009-10-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

You know you're obsessed when you watch porn but pay more attention to the wall colour of the room.

Have.to.stop.thinking.about.that.place!

...or at least for another 6 months or so :)

Recap I: Work

2009-10-04T23:19:00.001+08:00

Wonder if anyone still comes here? Hmm...

Anyway, just felt like ranting after eons of not opening blogger. Things have been pretty ok. Have gotten to find out few things about myself - somewhat closer to a definitive plan in terms of career. Its always been a struggle with the job. Sometimes I feel on top of the world and at times I sink to the lowest valley. I wonder if I'm being too hard on myself in terms of performance. So far the people around me have been saying I've done a good job but I wonder if its out of politeness, a sense of lowered expectation or plain truth. Its hard to see the things that I've done as anything out of the ordinary that deserves compliments or praises. Its these moments of insecurities that often gets me down and depressed. And yet some other side of me screams why cant I just accept those compliments graciously and not question myself at every turn?

And then there's the problem with the company itself. The very core of the company is filled with politics, a fear of accepting responsibilities and laziness. And furthur fueled by the stories of distrust and an unappreciative employer by my CEO's secretrary herself, I really wonder how long should I stay in this company. I was told by a colleague that to survive this company one has to be able to adapt to its environment. So far the only thing I'm adapting to here is the slow pace of work, the ability to log on facebook with a straight work-face and to 'snake' for very long tea-breaks. Hell even my boss comes in an hour and a half late to work everyday. And when I talk about the guiltiness I feel during tea breaks with colleagues, they tell me I'm not adapted yet :S I really dont want to continue with this routine of laziness, least it becomes part of me!! And yet...I know I will definately miss the relaxing attitude that the company practices.

Oh well, I guess when the time is right I will move on.

This post is here because livejournal just wont load

2009-07-08T23:58:00.001+08:00

I need help...I'm becoming emotionally numb.

Oh and I hate how slow livejournal is...a non-emotional kindda way.

My Dear Friend

2009-03-18T23:11:00.001+08:00

My dear friend i've missed you so
although regret i've never shown
The adventures that we have shared
the joy of us just being there
We laugh back at those times
Oh but what precious memories
They were for me

There's so much i want to say,
There's so much i want to tell,
The need for you to understand
The me that i've become.
But words are hard to come
and facing you is harder still
And so i let our friendship fade
but worse was that i hurt you too

At times i think back on 'our long walks
with talks of future, relationships and God
And all the funny things that we used to do
like jumping on the bed, n breaking my tooth
Or what about the time when we,
played badminton and smashed the lights?
Only things that two of us could do

If only i could be, the friend you want of me
provide you comfort when you cry
Or be a companion by your side
A lunch date perhaps, or dinner at night?
Called you more often and make you laugh?
Or maybe what you really wanted
Was for me to be
a friend, nothing more,
just a friend

But all i have now are words
and all i can do is apologize
And truly i'm sorry for what i've done
and more so i'm sorry for what i've not
Cos believe me when i say this
losing your friendship was hard on me
So maybe what i really need to do
Is say sorry for not being strong enough,

for me and you.

~k

Hey Britney, Step Aside

2009-02-04T22:42:00.003+08:00

If anyone thought Britney's new album Circus was 'da bomb, they obviously have not been to Malaysia. Our political situation right now will totally 'pawn' the daylights out of her.

There, I've done my part to promote tourism in Malaysia.

Now if only the fucking recession will just stop. Its pissing me off that I have to sacrifice shopping!

'There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe'

Jatuh Ditimpa Tangga

2008-12-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

Of late I've been acting moody and cranky for no apparent reason. And of course its driving him crazy. If I were of the opposite sex, things would be much easier to explain. Unfortunately I'm not.

And I have no idea about my mood swings either. Of course I know the triggers to them, but of late I'm being sensitive to a lot of things. Now I have a feeling that they were preludes to something worse. Like a harbinger of bad news. And then I receive that phone call!

I hate recession!

Its just so disappointing to receive such news so near the festive seasons. One less thing to be thankful for.

My heart literally stopped when I received the news. I heard what she was saying, but my mind was actually still at 'I'm sorry to inform you...'. And I can truly say I understand the meaning of sorely disappointed now. Even 5 hours later as I was walking towards my car, I half expected/hoped that someone would call back saying it was all a joke. I guess its just bad timing.

One thing I can be thankful for is still having my current job.

Plus I get to go for my KK trip after all.

Maybe this Christmas its time to be thankful for the present and not the future.

Ps: Anyone know if its legal for a company to retract back the offer letter after both parties have signed?

Mirror mirror on the wall

2008-12-18T00:28:00.003+08:00

Dating a salesman is tough. You'll never know if he's absolutely lying, partially truthful, or completely honest.

Worst part is they cover their tracks so well.

I guess this is one of the hiccups in my relationship :(

Kev is

2008-12-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

relieved that the renovation has finally started.

excited at the prospect of his new bathroom.

upset about not getting anything from the converse sale.

depressed at the lack of money to spend.

happy at the pressies he's bought.

facebooking way too much.

Beware of Fakes

2008-11-22T00:29:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah?

Well fuck u too bitch!

Cause I Miss You

2008-11-19T22:49:00.002+08:00

Shontelle
T-Shirt

Try'na decide Try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta

Gonna be late Gonna be late
But, all my girls don't have to wait 'cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet

Nothin feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

Hey

Gotta be strong gotta be strong but Im
Really hurtin now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it

Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin' you

Im'a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
('cause I missed you, 'cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on
(said I missed you ... baby)

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment I'm stripped down, torn up about it

Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on

_______________________________________

I really hope they call this Friday.

The Wish

2008-11-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish that love mattered. Only love. And nothing else would ever trump that.

Sadly, thats not the case most of the time. Sadly, we humans place more importance in things like religion and respect. Sadly, things like 'face' and dignity and honor comes way above love. And love is shoved in a corner, alone and forgotten.

I want to make my mum understand that what I have with him is just plain and simple love. Just as she fell in love with dad, so too do I want to fall in love with the man that's made for me. But I'm tired of all the fights - the yelling and the screaming. Even the tears. But worst of all, I'm tired of fighting against God.

To be honest, how can I ever win if ultimately God is brought into the picture? No matter how I try to see in another perspective, the Word is clear. And what I share with him is...forbidden.

Ever since I embarked on this journey, every step has been stony and uneven. The road I choose never gave one a moment's rest. And I'm so tired.

I have a dream. A dream that one day mum, dad, me and him could go to church together. A dream where I could freely worship without being discriminated. That we could have dinner at home and laugh at jokes, to talk about things that happened during the day and share our thoughts and opinions. And then gather round the tele for a movie...as a family. That Christmas would be a joyous occasion with everyone gathered round the tree and opening their presents.

Instead, all we have now are superficial banter about useless things. Safe things. Things that stay away from topics of relationships, marriage or family. And then there's the secretivity of trips and the when/what-time-are-you-coming-back's. I mean for fucks sake just say when you're leaving for your trip and when r u coming back! You think I'll only do 'wrong' things when you're gone?!

So if I could get one wish this Christmas to come true, I wish for love and all that love brings. Because God knows this world needs so much more then what we have of it right now. I wish that angels hear the cry of a boy and brings this simple request to the foot of the One that created heaven and earth. And then maybe, just maybe, this Christmas would be the best one ever.

Random Musing

2008-11-12T00:13:00.002+08:00

Ok so I tried to make the shift from blogspot to livejournal. Didnt really like it there tho. Too many functions and gadgets and whats-nots. Maybe I'm just an old fashion kindda guy, liking my blog to just be that - a blog.

I guess the one upside that livejournal has is the friends only function. At least there I get to choose who gets to view what. Blogspot has always been a very public place in my opinion. You'll never know who's lurking behind that IP address. One only hopes to not out himself to someone you're not suppose to!

Anyway its been ages, once again, since I last blogged. I would love to blame it all on work and the lack of time thereof, but I know the truth is that I've actually lost the discipline to write. Been reading up on some of my old post and man, do I feel waves of nostalgia hitting me. How I miss some of those times! I read an article recently and it said that memory was the most precious thing us humans have. Without memories, we would have nothing to live for. How true is that, huh!

Well just to share a little gossip with you (and also for me own memory :P), me and the bf went to a gay massage last weekend for the first time. After hours of research and reading up forums on how these things go, we finally thought we were ready and knew what to expect. Evidently not! No hanky-panky stuff happened during the massage but man, at the sauna was a whole different story. Suffice to say, it was exciting yet dodgy. Wouldnt mind doing it again tho :P We're planning another trip but perhaps to a different massage place cos the one we went to gave me backache the next day :S

Oh and I'm in the process of quitting smoking too. Stopped about 5 months back with a few relapse but currently back on track. Man i have to admit, I really dont want to quit. I remember all those times where I would just step out to my balcony for a puff after a hard day, a retreat to my little private corner. Smoking always gave me a moment to clear my head - that 5 minutes of quiet solitude when i can just relax and not think about anything in particular. I guess there's also that certain amount of sex appeal that I'm missing. Sex doesnt feel complete now without that cigarette at the finale :S Anyho...wish me luck. I guess I just concentrate on the moolah that I'll be saving!

Goodbye

2008-10-02T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...thanks for your feedback n sorry i'm so shit in replying comments. I'll be moving to livejournal from now on. Those interested in my pathetic life can ask me for my add..lol

It was a good journey but a new chapter awaits

Sometimes

2008-09-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just wish you'd show a little more interest in me. Like when I told you about the huge issue at work, I wished you'd ask me to elaborate. Instead you just continued on with you. And I'm left wishing.

Leona

2008-05-02T23:10:00.002+08:00

If Rihanna's Take A Bow is the ultimate break-up song this season, then Leona Lewis's Better In Time is the perfect band-aid.

Btw, dont judge Leona by Bleeding Love. Tho the song was great and all, it didnt really show this girls potential. To know how good she really is, go check out youtube clips on X-Factor where she was discovered. Then you'll have respect for this girl.

Contra Mechanism

2008-04-27T18:18:00.001+08:00

My body is a funny thing. I used to be able to do 40 push-ups in a set but not carry more then 10kg in a bench press. Now i'm able to bench press about 25kgs but not able to do more then 20 push-ups anymore.

:S

Anyone know why?

Freedom? NOT!

2008-04-25T23:21:00.002+08:00

I'm devastated! Not only am i gonna miss the 3 days Labour Day party, I gonna have to give Freedom PD a miss too! Ok so i dont really mind Labours Day cos frankly speaking...i've not yet obtained that elusive six pack and i dont wanna appear in anything less than fabulous LOL (oh my the inner diva speaks :P) But to miss 3 huge names in Freedom is just soul crushing. Why oh why didnt they just let me finish 4 days earlier!?!?!?!?! And i have the feeling that everyone will be so partied out that nobodys gonna accompany me on my drunken escapades anymore after that :(

Take A Bow

2008-04-25T00:13:00.003+08:00

I absolutely adore Rihanna's new song, Take A Bow. Call me a cynic but i have a feeling its gonna be popular amongst the gay community :)

Just hope i wont have to sing it one day

Don’t tell me you’re sorry 'cause you’re not,
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught,
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin',
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closin',
That was quite a show
Very entertaining,
But it’s over now
Go on and take a bow

Melancholy

2008-04-20T22:58:00.004+08:00

Yearning to appreciate the past
Cos what we had was good
And time has passed us by so fast
But in your town i saw, once stood

Broken Hearts, Broken Lives

2008-03-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

Hillsongs
So You Would Come

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

_________________________________________

They played this song yesterday at the Easter presentation. Such a beautiful song. I remember it as one of my favorites when i was young. Each words so true that it embodied all my struggles. It still does.

Suddenly, i find myself asking 'What am I living for?'

Its true i constantly find myself battling between choices. It isnt the fact that one road is worn and well-used while the other less traveled, but more so that both roads are equally winding and have consequences that will hurt the people that I love very much. And both choices will hurt me eventually.

Today someone told me i'm very lucky to be attached to such a great guy. I wonder if thats really true. After all, i might end up breaking his heart. Sometimes one is pushed to do things that he does not want to. I've tried to push matters aside for as long as i can, but i can only delay what has to eventually be decided. The worst part is my heart is also unsure. If you ask me, i think that he's unlucky to be attached to me.

I used to ask God, 'If you did not want me this way, why make me like this? I certainly did not choose this path. It chose me.'

And in my quiet moments, the answer actually came to me. It wasnt one that i liked, certainly not one i hoped to hear, but the quiet voice in my head said 'God did the same thing. He came down to die for your mistakes. He could have easily turned his face from you, and yet he came.'

Because of His great love
He gave His only Son

Another chapter of my life is about to be complete. The pages have been written, and the conclusion almost made. I have to decide soon of how i want to start the next chapter of my life. I pray for wisdom and courage.

If Only

2008-03-17T23:55:00.005+08:00

Ungu
Lagu Cinta

Di saat waktu berhenti
Mengikuti semua langkah-langkahku
Kau adalah satu satunya
Yang kuharap hadir dalam hidupku

Di saat mentari berhenti
Mencoba menghangati tubuhku
Kau adalah satu-satunya
Yang kutunggu hadir dalam jiwaku

Menerangi setiap sudut ruang hatiku
Memberikan kekuatan dalam setiap langkahku

Lagu cinta untukmu
Dari lubuk hatiku
Yang akan slalu ku nyanyikan
Sampa akhir hidupku

Lagu rindu untukmu
Dari dasar jiwaku
Yang akan slalu ku nyatakan
Di seluruh hidupmu

______________________________________________

If only my words were as sweet to describe our love
<3

For The Love Of V-Day

2008-02-18T19:32:00.006+08:00

Its been 4 days past the much anticipated V-Day. And maybe the word 'anticipated' isn't the choice for everybody. But for me it was because for the first time, i had someone to celebrate it with. Somehow i always manage to miss those special occasions in all my past relationships, give or take a birthday or two.

But this year was different. So far I've looked past Christmas in a lovers embrace, shared a New Year's kiss and celebrated both our birthdays together. V-day no longer needed an organised gathering of the singles and a night ending in drunken stupor. This year, i had him to hold my hand as we made sweet, sweet love.

So when he asked me what should we do on that day, I stupidly replied nothing.

'Its just another over-commercialized day aimed to generate more money' I said.

-.-

And he took my word for it.

-.-

So we ended up celebrating Valentines in Kim Gary and later watched the finale of The Amazing Race Asia at home. (which was totally awesome btw cos Singapore won...such a lovely couple)

Of course I really wasn't bothered much about the lack of romance for that day because as much as I'd like to place sentiment on it, V-day just doesnt do anything for me. Unfortunately, I'm not the dinner and flowers kindda guy. However, what disappointed me was the lack of effort.

But this disappointment didn't cross my mind until he brought up the notion of buying a laptop. Now one of the key reason why we decided not to celebrate V-day was because we didnt want to spend unnecessary money on an over-priced dinner and here he was suggesting buying a 4k laptop. Of course he said that he needed it for work but the selfish part of me reasoned that if he didnt need one for 2 years, he certainly didnt need it now. Sure it would be a convenience, but definitely not a necessity.

And then he said something that made my blood boil.

'I didnt know I needed to show you physically how much I love you'.

Of course i was angry. Are you calling me a money sucking tramp?!?!

But it also got me thinking. Is this really who I'm becoming? Am I slowly morphing into that kind of person that I swore I'll never be? What happened to the guy who was contented with what he has?

The truth is I still am the same person I was before. I've always been me, what you see is what you get. Even my best friend knows you cant control the things that pops up in my brain from stumbling out my mouth, even if it means chaos. But one thing I've always placed importance in is landmark. Events marked by a special occasion. Occasions I can look back upon and smile and remember of good times.

I dont ask you to lavish me with gifts of gold or food fit for a king. All I've ever wanted and ever will is your love. But with love comes effort. And the effort to make an event a special occasion is worth much more then anything your money can ever buy. So you see my bf is 90% sugar and spice and everything nice but 10% a total duh.

So right now he's going crazy planning our anniversary and is expecting me to fly off with him to (suggested location: Singapore, Langkawi, Sabah) over the weekend to celebrate the occasion.

Crazy!

I have a thesis to finish writing ok. Plus my parents will totally kill both you and me if they ever found out. But I do appreciate the effort you're putting in now, even if its wayyyy overboard.

Because the flame of romance will one day die out, and if we're not careful and continue to be complacent, we might forget how to light that candle once again. And that would be a tragedy.

A Poor Man's Tale

2008-01-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

Thank God CNY is coming up! Or else i'll have to satiate my hunger with mere grass and fresh air for the whole of next month.

Just blew a whooping RM250+ for my baby's birthday.

Lets start with dinner at La Bodega. OMG i just love that place! The food was a refreshing change from the usual pasta/pizza/kim gary dinners that we always have. Lucky i choose the right tapas as they all came with amazing sauces to dip our bread in. That alone almost filled us up (or me at least). Topped it up with a paella for two. Was really surprised how flavorful the rice was. By the end of the night, my face had almost turned the exact same shade as the wine we ordered...so shy! But it was such a wonderful experience. This memory made sweeter knowing that we're almost to our 1 year mark :)

Total damage for the night? RM175

Next was a shirt that i paid for him from FOS. Wasnt meant to be a pressie as he needed it for work, but i was afraid we wouldnt make it for dinner on his birthday as he was busy being choi san at work. Shirt cost RM60. Plus we ate at Sushi King for tea and the bill came up to RM35?

And i really wanted to get a shirt from TopMan that cost RM166. Its so out of my reach now.

Shit!!!!!!!!

I'm so broke! :'(

The Dream

2008-01-13T11:01:00.000+08:00

He opened his eyes to find the house filled with people. They were sitting all around him - all silent, all dressed in black. He tried to catch their gaze, but those that looked up only looked past him. Their faces were etched with sorrow but it wasn't the kind of grief that one does for a good friend or a loved one. This was more of sadness at having to go through death.

Unable to get anyones attention, he decided to wonder the house. The people that filled it were all strangers to him. Some bore semblance to people he might have known, but none really showed any recognition of him. And so he walked on. Down a dimly lit corridor until he reached another section of the house.

It was a huge hall. Again like the other, the room was filled with people shuffling about. They all looked to the center of the room, staring at the black coffin that laid amongst a bed of brightly coloured flowers. With small steps, he slowly made his way towards it.

Funny how the room seems much smaller now, he thought to himself as he approached the coffin. In just a few steps, he found himself beside the polished black box. Suddenly the air was still and the crowd that was there a moment ago disappears, leaving just him and the black box in front of him.

The lid was up, inviting him to have a peek. He took a second to consider before tiptoeing and leaning forward to have a look. He was greeted by his own reflection, only his reflection had his eyes closed. It took him a moment before he could register what was going on, and then the fear came along with a gasp as he woke up.

2008

2008-01-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
with these small hours, still remain,
they still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

~Rob Thomas
Little Wonders

A note to myself: As we celebrate the passing of another year and wonder whats in store in the next, learn to live for the moment. Take time to breath and appreciate the little wonders happening all around. Think twice before acting and let bygones be bygones. Most importantly, live a life you'll be proud to look back upon.

I guess one could say this is my resolution for 2008

When Your Gone

2008-01-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

I miss you so much baby
that i sometimes wish u didnt have to go away
...at least not at a time like this
but still it cant be helped
and you really do deserve this trip
so i'm sitting here hoping u'll have a great time
whilst wishing u'd come home quick into my arms again
until then, i'd just continue to listen
to the playlist that i made for you
when I went away the last time

with love
k

Funny Flash

2007-11-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

http://www.endofworld.net/

The One Less Travelled By

2007-11-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

Oh rest my weary soul lay down,
in these green pastures sleep
Put down the burdens of the world,
let God be placed the weight
For men can only see so far,
learn yet 'naught understand a thing
Oh rest defeated one and sleep,
and sleep the night away

And dream of dreams of yesterdays,
of times of youth of innocence
And dream the dreams of childish games,
of paper boats that sinks with rain
Of rain that is the tears of God,
he cries for all the anguished pains
Of crushes and love and deceit,
of confusion and hatred and lies

This canvas that he has painted,
is filled with colours from his world
A life which he had tried to hide,
by distance placed between the two
Come now dont put the blame on me
for what you cannot comprehend
Two roads diverged into the woods
and I took one less travelled by

And that has made all the difference.

HEROIC AGE

2007-11-05T17:02:00.000+08:00

OMG HEROIC AGE OWNS!
....especially the ending

If you're into anime, go watch this series.

You can watch it free from crunchyroll too.

Good luck not getting addicted

2007-10-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

Funny how i never mentioned i loved you once while i still could.
Or thanked you for everything that you did for me.
Or the sacrifices that you made.

Funny how i always swore to get to know you better.
To learn the language that would connect us together finally.

And i hope you got my little hints through the small deeds that i did do.
I hope you know that i indeed appreciate you even though i never knew how to say it out loud.
I hope you know that i love you.

Its only now when your gone,
when i look through clear glass at your face while you slept on that i realise of so much more i could have done.

I keep remembering the way you smiled, of how my heart would light up knowing you were happy. For your life was filled with much pain. The fragile body in which you were trapped in made days hard to go by. I only pray that you can finally rest in the Lord, and that you are as peaceful as you looked.

Even now the reality of it all is just beginning to sink it. I didnt realise it would hurt this much now that you're gone. I keep wishing every minute that i can just turn back the hands of time. To see you one last time, to talk to you, to hold your hands.

Now the tears start flowing. The ache in my heart that i felt for these two days seem to just pour out. How is it that i would never be able to see you anymore. That the last time saw you would be the last time ever. Now all i have in remembrance is just a picture of you in the wall. And the only chance i would get to speak to you would be to your grave.

I love you Amah, i hope you know that.

Proton

2007-10-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

A funny vid i got from the bf.

2007-09-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

Firstly, an apology for my tardy blogging these few ~~months~~ days. If you don't already know, i'm officially a member of the i-stay-in-a-jungle club now (on weekdays, that is) and have yet to get my internet sorted.

One good thing about moving into a town so small that the mighty Starbucks has not even invaded this place is of course the quality of life. Because the population of this area is so small, pollution is at its minimal. Greenery has never filled my life so much. The air here is so much fresher you can practically see the oxygen. Yup my friends, the oxygen level here is SO dense that it practically wraps this small lil' town that i now reside in with a layer of smog that you can clearly see. Ahh...the smell of fresh air. Healthy lifestyle here i come.
*if you didnt sense the sarcasm, I'm telling you thats what that was just now.

Bottom line is i cant believe such a small town would be so fucking polluted! Grrr...

Oh and i just watched Hairspray. John Travolta in drag? How can i miss this one! If you partially liked Dreamgirls but found it a tad tedious and too draggy, dont worry. Hairspray is the perfect ten to shows the likes of Dreamgirls. Totally opposite. You wont even notice time flying by, and thats good considering its one of the rare full 2 hour movies being churned out now. Think High School Musical with plenty of feet-tapping (that is if you've not already sprang out of your chair and burst out dancing along) and funny moments. This show is definately top notch in my books. I'm even thinking of getting the DVD as well (a feat for someone like me who hardly bothers watching the same movie twice). This show is definately...groovy, as they put it in the 60s.

Would love to elaborate more but i've got to get back to packing my things for the jungle now. Its gonna be a long week.

Happy Monday Blues everybody :P

More Blonde Moments

2007-09-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

I cant get enough of South Carolina's blonde moments!

Saw this clip and found it absolutely hillarious i cant stop laughing!

I'm so evil!

Blonde/Ultimatum

2007-09-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

This is hillarious!

Miss Teen South Carolina attempts to answer the question of why 1/5 Americans cant locate their own country on a world map.

Seriously, i dont know which is dumber. Her answer or the question!

Well if you ask me...

'I personal believe that Miss Teen South Carolina is in fact NOT as dumb as people would like to think she is. The fact that she'd managed to involve South Africa and the Iraq and Asia in a question that seeks to find why AMERICANS cant locate their own country just shows her ingenuity beyond our comprehension, thats all.

After all, her answer is simple. Americans cant locate their own country because they dont have maps! DUH! But of course, educating South Africa and the Iraq and Asia is equally as important too! I mean its obvious that one has got to educate these three countries before expecting ones own citizen to know where their country is located!

However, the most important part of her answer that should have landed her top marks for this Q&A session was definately her closing. I mean come on! By doing all that she suggested, US WOULD BE ABLE TO BUILT UP THEIR FUTURE FOR THEIR CHILDREN....or such as!'

*sniff sniff

I wonder if i know anyone like that...

Hi chien! *waves frantically*

____________________________________________

This clip is equally entertaining.

Enjoy :)

I Wanna Have Your Babies Too!

2007-08-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

Natasha Bedingfield

I love this girl.

Not only is she a gifted songwriter, she's also a fantastic singer at that.

One tune that captured my attention in her latest album, NB, was soulmate. Written with simple elegance, she's managed to describe what so many of us feel or have felt once upon a time. I mean one only has to study the chorus of this song to realise this girl knows what she's talking about. And to combine such powerful lyrics with an equally powerful tune PLUS her voice? Double combo tripple kill i tell 'ya!

Soulmate
by Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

I would put her song up on imeem for u guys but i'm swamped with studying right now and i just cant be bothered. So ya all will just have to download it for yourself. Trust me, its worth it!

Happy listening :D

Bored?

2007-08-25T00:18:00.000+08:00

God knows i am!

So when i stumbled across a blog that had a link titled 'Naughty American History', my itchy hands couldnt resist clicking it. After all, i distinctly remember the author of the blog mentioning something about a hunky male teacher stripping down with each correct answer. Good enuf for me :D

Anyways, managed to strip everything off him in under 30 minutes and at the end of it all....

'WHAT?!! All that work and no close up cock shots?!?!' I screamed, lube in one hand and tissue in the other.

'And not even a hint of a handjob?!? Worst porn i've ever seen!'

Ok so that might not have happened.

What DID happen was i tried to find back the blog where i got to know about this link, just so i could brag abit about my somewhat small achievement and perhaps offer answers to anyone who wanted them. But for the life of me...I CANT!

I searched every single link i would normally go to but i absolutely cannot find the blog where i got to know of this site! And the thing is i KNOW i had just accessed it only moments ago!

MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED!

Anyway if anyone is interested in a lil private stripshow of their own, click here.

Strange

2007-08-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i want to write about so many things. Theres so much inside me that needs to be expressed, to be forever entombed in this eternal cyberspace of junk. And yet, the keyboard stays silent. No sounds of the clickety-clacks of fingers typing. No flowing of words that comes from the heart.

Its strange how the past two months could possibly be one of the best periods in my life but still there is no records of it here in this journal. This journal that has been with me for a much longer period then i had anticipated. 'Just a phase' i told myself when i first started writing.

Perhaps its just the timing. Choosing to write about happy times when one is down and frustrated sure hinders progress. It blocks the mind from being productive.

These four walls that have been my grave for the past 1 week sure feels constricting. To look at the same old dull furnitures from the moment i wake up to the time i lay my puny head to sleep. I know what i need - a change of environment. But time is my constraint. Time is my luxury.

The internets not helping either. Right now, i'm having trouble logging on to some of my favorite blog sites. My only connection to the outside world has been eliminated. Strangely, the other sites work fine. Maybe those pesky government agents are up to something. With elections coming up, who knows to what extend politicians will go. After all, with all the publicity blogs have been getting recently, perhaps someone has finally realise how big a threat blogs can be.

.......................

Anyway, i'm too tired to go on. Ramblings at wee hours of the nights are strangely therapeutic but also exhausting.

QUACK QUACK QUACK

2007-08-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack....

Ok so i've held my silence for quite some time now but i just cant stand it anymore. The new song by Ahli Fiqir is just...AWESOME!!

And since everybody rolls their eyes at me whenever i tell them this, the only person (or thing) that will actually listen (without passing judgement, might i add!) is my trusty ole blog (whom i've neglected for quite some time now).

Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack....

Sama pandai, sama bodoh
Sama tepok, sama bongkok

Sometimes i think i'm enjoying life too much :D

Anyway i was thinking about when i'll have to move to my obscure residence once uni starts, and how lonely i'll be without my baby to accompany me on my daily gallivants, or to shush him while i'm watching tv, or disturb me while i sleep.

So its obvious i have to start looking for some sort of replacement. I doubt it'll be easy to fill that void that he'll leave. All that love and care, the way he looks at me, that strong embrace, those...

*click click*

Ek! So cute.......SET!

*5 minutes later and his replacement was found.

Arent they just adorable?

Anyways i've always wanted a dog but mum has always been against it. Insisted that i wont be responsible (actually hardworking more like it) enough to take care of it and it'll end up being her job to take care of the dog.

Well......i do admit i'm out of the house very often,
and yes.....i do occasionally forget to do my chores.......
but still........

So here's my chance. I'll be staying by myself so obviously the dog will have to be my responsibility. And i forsee shitloads of free time as well because, lets just say that entertainment there is scares.

OMG i'm getting excited just thinking about it!
(no, not in that way u dirty minded freaks! -.-)

Anyways, now i just have to find one heck of a cute puppy

.........

hmmm

Ok so it looks like the bf is not gonna get replaced that easily after all.

But i would appreciate it if anyone out there know of anybody wanting to give away any puppies to kindly contact me.

Caring, loveble and responsible boy *cough*bullshit*cough* seeking to find companionship. (This is starting to sound like some dodgy male-seeking-male site now -.-)

*hops off doggie finding

I Wonder

2007-06-25T14:37:00.001+08:00

How far will a person go to get money

Big Boys Dont Cry

2007-06-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

Potted plant, oh potted plant
sitting in the middle of the garden
how pretty you look,
your leaves all green, your petals full bloom
you've got all the sun you need,
and all the water that you want
And yet they dont know, oh no they dont
of the stifling heat that burns you petals
or the excess water that rots your roots
and yet you struggle to survive
and yet you try to be strong
and not a sign you try to show
you glitter with beauty on the outside
and nobody knows of the truth
oblivious, they envy you
not knowing that you're dying inside
oh no they dont
and none the wiser they look at you,
admire you
until one day they come to find
a plant withered and dead

__________________________________________________________

~ Fairytales dont always have a happy ending, do they? ~

Troubled Heart

2007-06-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

Trapped in a shell drifting with the current
surrounded by shimmering beauty of the ocean
and fishes swim by and brushes against it
their gentle fin and a ripple the only mark
of a presence that will only fade with time
this uneasiness, this sudden jump
to live in such fear is no way to live

PARTY!

2007-06-09T17:18:00.000+08:00

UV NATION TONIGHT!

Get your act on!

Cant wait.

First Day

2007-06-04T23:17:00.001+08:00

Sry boys and girls for the lack of post but this boy has joined the working world now...for 2 months la.

And i cant believe that tomorrow will be only my second day and i'll have to attend a meeting that will stretch for 5 to 6 hours! No wonder they say advert guys are crazy...CRAZY I TELL YOU!

But today was fun. And from the briefing i got today, i have a feeling that i'm gonna enjoy my time here. Everything is so relaxed and the people awesome bunch. All fun to be with with just a touch of drama queens in each of them LOL.

And amongst the multitude of serong peeps in my company, the cutest guy has to be straight

-.-

So sad

Hahahaha

K i need my sleep now if i am to stay awake tomorrow.

The Dream

2007-06-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

The tides grow strong, it washes me away
i want to go one way,
but the current pulls me in many directions
Alone, in the multitude of people
Alas, alas - nobody understands
A single page leaves me longing
for a life i would not have
Time travel a dream
- or is it?
Inward I reflect
of a desire i cannot speak of
who here will truly understand me?
who now can i confide in?
This secret part of me
- always a secret part of me

Is history a curse
or part of life as it is
I walk this beach alone
the footprints i leave behind
is only mine
The one that walks beside me
that carries me through troubled times
a myth, only a myth
I want to believe, need to believe
and yet i remain skeptical
torn between desires
A choice between two hearts
and one will break in the end
a kaleidoscope of dreams
reflections of many
refraction of none
it all becomes one
and many into none

2007-05-31T02:07:00.000+08:00

So after 4 days of RnR I'm finally back from Bali.

OMG you wont believe the sights they have there! And I'm not talking about structural stuff, purely physical. I've nvr seen so many beautiful, beautiful abs staring back at me in my entire life! (Ok la so maybe i have but that was a long time ago)

Note : Bali is no place for a gay boy to be in with PARENTS! Not unless u want them to see the pooling saliva drooling from your mouth, the darting eyes, and the tenting bulge.

Seriously, took such effort to restrain myself from looking (Board shorts aren't very good cover for a growing erection). Hell even the guy peddling keropok looked yummy enough to eat. Wonder how much he would go for :P

Anyway, I cant stress how much i love that place. Whats not to love?! Food there was awesome (Think lobster meals going for RM50...FOR THREE!) Plus the whole place there is like this giant Chee Chiong Kai! Bought loads of shirts and board shorts for 10 bucks average. I just hope that red shirt i bought is colour fast tho.

And i finally went for my first massage. No biggie la. I think i was pretty relaxed then so not much knots to massage away, but still it was relaxing. Melted like putty in her hands. Maybe it would have been better if it was a he. Oh well, beggars cant be choosy can they now.

The bf is so gonna kill me when he read this! LOL

My advice for those thinking of a holiday, consider Bali if you have a big enough group of friends to go with. It would be much better, unless you intend to go to some quiet, tropical getaway for a lil honeymoon. In that case, dont stay in the city (Kuta) but go for some place in Nusa Dua. Didnt get a chance to go there myself but i heard its paradise.

Kuta is for people to PARTY, PARTY, PARTY!

Sigh, I'm already missing that place now. Was really down when we had to leave finally.

Change of future plan la. I'm so gonna retire there and be a beach bum.

ps : Guess what? They even have Krispy Kreame there! For those of you who dont know what they are, they're donuts that are TO DIE FOR! I have 2 dozen in my fridge now :p

2007-05-27T02:23:00.000+08:00

I drew a circle on the canvas of life
but the ends never met, i didnt know why
and then you showed up, and picked up the pen
and guided my hands, you made those ends meet

From that day on, i knew it would be
that life as i knew it, would change totally

I'm happy when you're happy
I grow sad when you're sad
I laugh at the sight of your laughter
I cry at the sight of your tears

Tho the journey was tough, with storms in our path
Tho the journey still is, with thorns in our side
Tho my heart sometimes grow weary having to decide
I never regretted the day i met you

And I love you

Love oh love, such a strong word
I kept it inside for such a long time
not wanting to say it in fear the meaning lost
should the timing be wrong just a second too short

But love is now, and love is us
I feel it in you, i hope you do too
The deeds that you do, your actions so loud
I'm constantly assured, of a love i'm so proud

Baby i love you!

Brain Dead

2007-05-25T01:11:00.000+08:00

tapity tap tap

Only 2 more days till my departure and i have yet to complete a long list of task i'd set myself to complete b4 leaving.

Its terrible. I've been feeling super lazy this hols, alternating between lazing around the house watching tv and going out with the bf ONLY. And my room is in the exact state it was during exam period, aka super messy with notes everywhere. Sometimes i wish i had a maid. But then again i dont trust them, and who knows where my notes will all end up if i ever need them again. Oh well...

Will be going to view my future house tomorrow :D All psyched up now and hoping it will be nice. I'll hate it if i had to stay in an old, run down house for the next one yr. But i heard its nice so fingers crossed.

Wah...seriously, my brain is on shutdown mode. Cant write anymore. Perhaps i shall switch to one of those picture blogs and let them do the talking instead. K la wont write anymore crappy post for now. Grr

My Bouncy Penis!

2007-05-23T02:27:00.000+08:00

I've got a bouncy penis. Its all squashy and soft and elastic. You can do whatever you want with it and it just pops back in shape again. Five people has already witness my penis being smashed onto an aluminium table and its still alright. Really, i have one hell of a durable penis.

Of course, i'm not talking about the one that comes attached to me la.

This ones made in Thailand :P

However, its not very useful if you ask me. I mean whats the point of having a soft dick right? So now it sits on my table looking very very obscene, jingling away merrily each time its touched.

I bet i could make some old perverted men happy tho if i just went around holding it infront of my pants. You know, that voyeur thingy where they get all excited thinking that they had a peek at your goods. Seriously, this thing can look quite real from afar if you dont look at it for too long. One might think that i have a cute healthy pinkish looking penis hanging :P That is if i dont get arrested for indecent exposure first la.

So if any of u guys are interested in viewing my bouncy penis let me know la. You'll nvr know which one i might post up.

HAHAHAHA

I feel like such a whore.

I cant wait to show it to the bf tomorrow.

I have too much time.

I have to clean up my room....someday.

I talk rubbish.

Ta

2007-05-22T02:23:00.000+08:00

Ok i think i've kept my silence for long enough.

Truth be told, i've been meaning to blog for quit some time now but somehow always manage to 'lose the feeling' whenever i face my screen. Besides, i've done nothing blog-worthy so far so nothing much to say la.

Anyway thanks alot to those that gave me encouragement throughout the rough patch i was going through. Not so emo now. Calm enough to think logically and plan my next step la at least.

....

*blink blink*

....

K i've actually got nothing to say. Well, goodnight folks.

Muse...come back!

ta

2007-05-19T15:17:00.000+08:00

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running
Keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

2007-05-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

it's been a good journey.

and like all good journeys, this one might come to its end.

too much tears have fallen.

i dont know how this will end.

and i'm just so tired.

FUCKED AGAIN AND AGAIN

2007-05-16T02:58:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought the worst was over, the wind blows and brings me a new storm.

Sometimes i dont know if God sits up there on his throne and deals out turmoil on peoples life just for the fun of it. Sure seems that way to me. I pray for safe journey and thank him for his grace, but he says 'Oh no child, thats just the calm before the storm. Wait till you see what i have in store for you' and snickers.

And i hate it that my holiday is now ruined.

The break i've been looking for in ages has now turned into a warfield once again, and i feel just like a little boat drifting out at sea with an impending doom. I hate what they did to me. They had no rights! Fuck!

Sry if i dont reply ur msg on sms or msn, i've lost all mood for socializing. I wouldnt be much fun anyway.

A lifetime of pain all brought up in an instance
A lifetime of healing all ripped from the seams
A lifetime of thinking all has to be undone
A lifetime of suffering all imminent

FUCK THIS SHIT!

Its Over!

2007-05-14T16:28:00.000+08:00

And with that he takes a great leap across the finish line.

The tortures finally over. And my 4 month holiday starts today!

WEEEEEEEE!

I'm so tired right now, my eyes keep closing but i cant sleep. Wanted to get a haircut after exam then take a nap but my hairstylist will only be free at 5pm so i have to wait. Sigh.

K will probably post more later. Brain juice depleted!

Ta

The Final Hurdle

2007-05-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

just a little bit more

hope i dont trip at the end

that would be an embarrassment

Captain Procrastinator

2007-05-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i hate myself so much

I Have Weird Friends

2007-05-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

[Cy] : last nite i had sucha weird dream
[Cy] : like mega weird

kev : what was it about?

[Cy] : i dreamt i was someone else last nite
[Cy] : and i went to the toilet
[Cy] : and shit so damn much
[Cy] : it started accumulating til overflow
[Cy] : the floor all got
[Cy] : my feet was covered with shit!

kev : WTF!

[Cy] : then i somehow kicked all the shit off the toilet floor into the bowl and the floor was damn clean! and my shoes were damn clean also
[Cy] : then i went out
[Cy] : got other stuff but i forgot. but i think someone went into the toilet after that hahahaha and complained abt someone shitting
[Cy] : HAHAHAHAHA

Tell me i'm wrong

-.-

A Breath of Relief

2007-05-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

Phewww!

Finally, two papers down. I cant describe just how relieved i am. After a month of seclusion with a daily routine of only two things, study and eat (ok la plus tv and internet too :P), i cant say i'm absolutely pleased with how things went for the two papers but i'm contented. Now its up to fate, luck and God, take your pick.

But as always, the worst is still yet to come. Monday will be my final and toughest paper this semester and i'm absolutely shitting my pants thinking about it. A combination of two subjects into one 3 hour long paper, add one rubbish lecturer and another fucking strict one, and you've got yourself one hell of a time. Literally.

_________________________

My friends dont believe me when i tell them i'm at home.
They call me on fridays and ask me to come out, and when i'm staying home to study....they laugh!

-.-

Dont blame them tho. Tried thinking back to the last time i was at home on a friday night and...nope cant even remember when. Theres just something about fridays that makes you wanna go out and just do something different besides the usual stuff.

The one thing i'm craving the most now is MAHJONG. I have to admit that the hands been getting pretty itchy lately and i cant wait to just play the game whole night long then go out for dim sum breakfast in the morning. Yes yes...i'm becoming such a tai tai.

_______________________

Tried working out today and man, my stamina is gone. Zilch. Nada. Couldnt do the weights i usually do! Couldnt last for more then 3 reps! Thank god i can still last on the cycle machine albeit looking alil zombified by the end of it. This is why i dont wanna join FF, Cali or any other big gyms. I dont get it how some people can run for half hour and still step off looking like a million bucks. NO FAIR!

________________________

Thats it for today. If you've read till here, you've just wasted like 5 minutes of your time with my ramblings. And i probably hate you for actually having time to waste! :P

Relax take it easy

5 Minute Quikie

2007-05-06T02:44:00.000+08:00

I shouldnt be doing this, not when exams are just a day away. But i'm so bored i could die. So its either this or well...die. And i'll rather prefer not to die seeing i've missed so much this whole month just preparing for my impending doom (unlike some lucky person whose exams got deferred to a later date! *evil stare).

Been thinking of changing my blog site to either livejournal or xanga because blogspot is so damn slow to log in. Takes up like 5 minutes of my very very very precious time just to get to the sign in page, then another 5 minutes to view the dashboard, AND another 5 minutes to create a new post! Grrr...thats like 15 minutes of my life wasted just waiting. Cant decide tho between livejournal or xanga. But i probably wont change until i have time to learn some webdesigning skills. Cant stand the layouts of both those mentioned sites. So void of erm...personality.

And yes, once again i've been planning my things to do ALREADY for when the holidays come. Dont wanna miss out on doing anything due to poor planning :P So far theres 4 trips booked but the one i'm looking forward most is Bali.

Weeee.......

Cant wait to just chill out and relax once i get there. Not to mention shopping! Can anybody tell me if i can get nice singlets there? Or do i have to get them here before i leave. I plan to be a proper tourist! *giggles*

Bad thing is i'll be going with the parents. Ok so not exactly bad cos they ARE paying for my trip, but i guess no clubbing or drinking or checking out the local gay clubs there this time around. I guess getting hammered will have to wait for when i go to PD. Oh and this time i am so gonna have myself a proper spa experience! I'm so glad my mum brought it up because i told her i'm gonna tag along and thats final. Lol.

Oh man...rejuvenate before regurgitate O.o

Not forgetting my beloved clubs too! How i've missed the sweet sweet beat of trance, the ear shattering boom of bass and the sights of sweaty men. The bf is so gonna pengsan if he ever reads this! He's a protective guy, that bf is. Even suggested that i only go clubbing with him. I just told him that he'd better keep most of his weekends free then :P But i love him to bits!

Well i planned to go on about how sweet he is and all that lovey dovey stuff but i shall not cause any excessive sweet post induced diabetic attacks for today. Besides, its time to get back to the boring stuff again.

Sigh!!!

If only i was Hiro! I could just speed up time at my whim. Ok maybe i cant speed up time yet cos i'm not prepared. Slow it down? Shit i cant stand an additional day of this mental torture. Damnit no wonder i dont have superpowers! I wouldnt be able to use it at all!

Terbaik Untukmu

2007-05-03T15:11:00.000+08:00

Aku sadar kalau kini
Kita sudah smakin menjauh
Sempat aku berpikir ini
Kau yg menginginkannya
Lepas dari pelukku

oh kini aku sadari
ini salahku
tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali

maafkanlah bila ku selalu
membuatmu marah dan benci padaku
ku lakukan itu semua
hanya tuk buatmu bahagia

mungkin ku cuma tak bisa pahami
bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku
aku cuma ingin jadi terbaik untukmu

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini bersamaku
Jangan Pergi
Berikan satu kesempatan
Untuk ku membuktikan
sesungguhnya cintaku

~Tangga - Terbaik Untukmu~

Bleh

2007-05-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

"with simple words i pray
that this day will quickly pass away"

Kev is bored, uninspired and frustrated!

Sexual Tension

2007-04-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Everybody's preparing for the biggest party of the year.

2 Major Events!

4 Days of dancing!

A thousand sweaty men!

...and i'm gonna be stuck at home studying :'(

Relationship

2007-04-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Read quite a few post on 'gay' relationship recently (or maybe its already so last year, whatever la), so here's my two cents worth.

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

~Gwen Stefani - 4 In the morning~

OK so its not exactly MY two cents worth, its Gwens. But read the lyrics carefully and you'll see that she's got it right. Relationships take work. In order for it to work two people has to actually want it and give it their all if they really want it to last.

Personally, i dont see what the big deal is about gay or straight relationships or how they differ from each other. As has been debated long and hard by others, straights have exactly the same problems that we have. Maybe the only difference is that we're already cursed with a stereotype - and that is all gays fool around. Maybe that's an excuse we give ourselves whenever we succumb to temptation. I have to admit that is the biggest flaw we have. I can understand how some people would use this to console themselves.

However its not so much the temptation as it is the act itself that matters. Not many guys are willing to give up a hot fuck. I mean lets get real, we're all a bunch of superficial twats. Who in they're right mind would pass a chance to sleep with that 6' 2 hunk with dreamy eyes and abs so chiseled you could sharpen a knife with? The mind instantly starts weighing the pros and cons of cheating. In the end, i assume most would come to the conclusion 'Its a chance of a lifetime! Seize it!'. Ta-da, ladies and gentlemen you've got yourself a scandalous affair.

Someone once said, relationship is more then just that lovely feeling. Yes boys and girls, in my opinion it take more work then love to make a relationship work. More so when you frequent clubs filled with pumping testosterone all fired up and on a mission. Dont for a second think that the guy eyeing you gives a fuck if you're attached. Its your duty to think about that, not him.

Its only when one is willing to give up a quickie with that Greek God, only then are you commited to the relationship. Stop thinking about the missed chances and just put faith in what you already have. Dont think about the regrets that you might have later, if say the relationship fails. And most of all, stop living by the motto 'Life's all about fun!'. Lets see how fun it is when you're 40 and saggy and all alone, and the only boys that are willing to hang out with you are rent boys.

As for myself, i decided a long time ago to first determine what i want. If its sex with beautiful random strangers then by all means go ahead, but do it single. I dont see the point in getting into a relationship and then sleeping around with other people and creating super sized dramas. Seriously, its too much hassle.

Ok so thats my take on relationships. This post was done in 30 minutes so pls dont shoot me down too much in your comments! lol

Random Random Random

2007-04-24T20:14:00.000+08:00

One can usually tell the transition period. Notice how my blog was full of post the last few weeks and then *poof* nothing? Well thats because i've finally completed all required assignments and my eyes were hurting so bad by the end of it that i didnt really feel like staring into the computer anymore then i needed to. Oh and i have all my notes on printed papers this time around too so i dont have to depend on my com.

And can somebody pls tell me how on earth do I ( <--- notice bold letter!) write a letter of recommendation for MYSELF!?!?!

Yes!!! You see the connection?!

Wrote to my lecturer yesterday requesting for a letter of recommendation and he replied saying he was busy and if i wanted it i'll have to draft out one for him and let him make some 'minor adjustments'! How on earth can i write my own letter of recommendation?!?! AND he'll be reading what I write about ME! Its like blowing my own horn! Damn perasan case lor!

JORRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways have to get back to work la and writing that damn PERASAN SYOK SENDIRI letter!

Oh and i have to say i love 3G *snicker*

AND I'LL FORM THE HEAD!

2007-04-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

I just turned 10 all over again!

Ok kev breath...steady breath...thats it

Thanks to Joery i decided to youtube Voltron and sigh....I'm 10 all over again. I mean how cool are those robot lions! I remember how i used to desperately want to be part of their crew when i was young and owned a machine of my own. My parents did buy me one out of the five parts of that robot but refused to get me the rest. So all i had was one lion that formed the left side of the leg to play with. I would shout 'Go Voltron!' and then...er...well lets just say the transformation went way faster. My robot wasnt really that kickass. After all, what can one leg do? Hmm...come to think of it, actually my robot was pretty much ALL kickass!

ZOMG BRINGS BACK MEMORIES

Another of my favourite was Silverhawk. In case you've forgotten about them (shame of you if u did! They were the best kickass cartoon then!), they're the guys always in silver with wings tucked in there somewhere. My favourite was that small copper kid that throws a disc, cant recall his name. Oh and if you listen carefully, there's one part in the song where it goes 'Silverhawk, the rainbow in the sky!' LOLOLOLOL!! Men with pure gleaming six pack, hard as steel??? Maybe the show was gay! Nvr realised i was exposed to gay influence that early :P

"Wings of silver
Nerves of steel"

Lastly is Dinoriders. Remember loving all those dinosours with kickass weapons. OMG seriously i wanna go back to those good old days sob sob! Nowadays, the only cartoon i find amusing is Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, and thats because of the ever-so-cynical Bloo! (and yes i still watch cartoons, dun laugh!)

Nooooo....seriously, i cant explain what i'm feeling right now. Its like I'm so excited yet down. Its like a blast from the past, and the worst part is things will nvr be as they were. Only now do i realise how shitty it is to grow up. Totally understand why Peter Pan wanted to stay a kid now.

SOB SOB SOB

Ok back to studying.

Btw I tried googling the lyrics for Silverhawk and found this

"We're sorry but the artist has decided not to disclose the lyrics for this song."

WTF?!?!?!

Well dear artist, you're a sadist you know that! I hope you and ur song lyric are happy together u selfish bastard. Hmph!!!

ps: word of the day is kickass

When I Woke Up

2007-04-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

______

"Goodbye my friend, you've taken a stroll
Down a path unknown, you've left me alone
I wake up to find you're no longer there
In dreaming you went and never looked back

You leave me disheartened, broken and down
Without you I walk aimlessly around
As bright as the sun shines, the weathers still cold
The sky is a void, a gaping black hole

But now i feel better, you're back by my side
Our journey through life, our path coincide
Tho still not fully, i know it takes time
Let happiness return when chemicals combine"

______

Clayton said my some of my post were hard to understand. Well to tell you the truth, i like to keep some things to myself. That's why i write metaphorically (or try to at least). See if you can decipher this one :P

A Horrible Monday

2007-04-16T15:57:00.000+08:00

...for green Volvos.

At least today wasn't all that bad for me. Had a presentation that went pretty well. Still some problem with our design project tho but at least we're at the final stage. Now all there is to do is finish up 2 more reports and full steam ahead for exams.

On my way back, it started to rain...heavily...AGAIN!

Seriously, this is getting quite irritating! I mean one day of like super heavy rain is alright, maybe get into the mood of reminiscence as you drive with emo songs playing full blast on your radio. Two days ok la still can get melancholy about life and things like that. But three days is just stupid ok! Its so not fun driving at 60kph with a window of opportunity to actually see where one is going for like 5 seconds before everything goes blurry again! Grrr...

Caution : Long winded story starts here :)

Anyway, the rain finally subsided to a drizzle. I was driving at the fast lane just chilling, trying to decide if i should nap when i get back (pls dun get jealous u working people :P) when suddenly i saw this Volvo from the corner of my eye trying to cut in to the middle lane. What happened for the next erm...1 minute?? was quite surreal. I can finally say that i've witnessed an accident in the making now instead of always only seeing the end results aka STUPID TRAFFIC JAMS!

Well as i was saying, this Volvo tries to cut in to the middle lane when his car skidded and the driver lost control of the car. In slow mo Ala matrix style, the car spun round and round in a path that took him from the middle lane to the slow lane.

Now the funny/unfortunate (depends on how u look at it) thing was that there was this car driving in the slow lane, and he was probably one of those ~~anal~~ careful drivers that check his side mirrors, wipers, adjust rear view mirror and seat belts before starting off on a journey. Well there he was happily driving slowly, being cautious on the road because it was raining like the advert on radio told him to, when BANG! Some stupid Volvo clips his back in the midst of its impromptu roller coaster ride and sends him running straight into some bushes beside the highway.

Not feeling satisfied, the Volvo continued on with its path of destruction, like MixFM's tornado challenge, going from the slow lane to the fast lane where I WAS DRIVING! Actually took me awhile to realise it was coming my way la cos i was too engrossed watching what was happening (would have stepped out of my car to get popcorns too if there were any available :P) but thank God i did so i immediately slowed down and switched on my hazard lights. In the end the Volvo hits the divider that sends him reeling back to the slow lane and finally stops there.

Now...know why i said it was all so surreal? And its not because i was traumatized or anything like that. Its because the whole time the car was spinning and causing havoc, not a sound could be heard! I didn't hear any tyres screeching or brakes being jammed. I didnt even hear anything when the Volvo smashed into the other car! All i heard was the constant pitter-patter of the rain and the song being played on radio...as if nothing was happening. I guess somebody forgot to add THX to this movie.

Well as bad as i may sound, i was actually quite concerned the whole time but i'm pretty sure nobody got hurt. Maybe a whiplash at most from all that spinning but he deserves it la for driving so fucking fast when its raining. I pity that innocent ~~anal~~ careful driver tho.

When Money Matters

2007-04-15T04:06:00.000+08:00

" I used to love taking photographs here.
What happened?
People started paying me. Took the fun out of it."

-extract from Catch and Release

Chronic Obsession

2007-04-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

Its crazy i tell you! A song like that should be banned! Its been stuck in my head for two whole days now and i just cant get it out of my mind. When i'm at the computer i have it on loop for hours and when music is non-accessible i hum it in my head and actually crave to listen to it, so i keep switching radio channels in hopes that one of them might have it on their play list. CRAZY I TELL YOU!

Gwen Stefani - Sweet Escape

If I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say
I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

(I wanna get away, to our sweet escape)

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
By the way the you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

Whohoe, whihoo
Whohoe, whihoo
Whohoe, whihoo
Whohoe, whihoo

If I could escape

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place in my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

I love her to bits! Even from the time she was in No Doubt, one could clearly tell that she was a trendsetter with those outrageous costumes that she dons on. Styles that were definately unique but she was able to pull it off unlike some. Now, 15 years down the line this girl has achieved major success. A mum with a fashion line and 2 albums under her belt, Gwen looks all ready to conquer the world. How can anybody not love her?!

Oh and Sweet Escape? I think this is one hell of a song that can almost bring out the diva in me...almost. That whole platinum blond look, Harajuku Girls, sigh....shes definately got it right!

Well its off to obsessing over the song again, no time to write anymore. Exams are in 3 weeks time and in another week i'll be starting my 4 months holiday. Jealous anybody :P Dont be cos i might be working, fingers crossed.

Elated

2007-04-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

I'm so excited but there's nobody to call :(
Everybody i wanna talk to is either asleep or not talking to me.

Lucky i still have my trusty old blog.

Anyway just a quick one so i will remember this day.

Was chatting to a certain someone when i decided to ask for his opinion on internship prospects other then engineering line when he suggested his company. Weee! Its an advertising company and I'm really excited about working there now. Wonder how's it gonna be like.

Bad side to it tho is there might not be any pay in it. Hmm....i say its worth the experience but i'm gonna have to live like a pauper even when i work! Whats this man! Poor being a student, now poor working!

Oh well...i guess one cant ask for the best of everything right?

Sweet Escape

2007-04-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

Its been a good day, productive to say the least. Perhaps it was the appearance of a special someone. Or maybe it was the unexpected results that he got. Its been long since that feeling was last felt. A sense of pride and worth.

And then it rained. Dark clouds that blocked the sun and sent the earth into darkness, or at least part of it. The drizzle soon becomes rain, and rain became storm. Suddenly, the world starts to fade away behind a watery curtain. Buildings up ahead begins to dissolve and mountain disappears. All he can see is the speckle of lights from other lonesome travellers like him.

Its hard to explain the emotions that he's feeling. Comfortable? Safe? Relieved? Perhaps its all those or perhaps its not. All that he knows is that the rain didnt bother him. Dark as it was, he could still see the end of it. Somehow he feels there is a message somewhere, though yet to be deciphered. He drives on with the radio blaring away.

It was horrible weather. How he wished he was at home, tucked safely under his comforter with a good book to read and maybe some cookies and a tall glass of cold milk by his side. Ah to be young and free again. Somehow, stress has become a part of his life.

But yet today was different. It was the same and yet it was different. His problems were still there. Work still piled undone on his desk and books stacked high waiting to be read. But a smile carves its way across his face. It was different. And then the rain stopped, just as Gwen Stefani's 'Sweet Escape' came on.

Cravings

2007-04-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

I crave for the illegal.

Once again my mind dwell on the colourful, to taste the forbidden fruit that comes in so many different forms and flavours. The music adds to the rush. I know i should stop, but its too late. The seed has already been planted - the thought of the apple inside.

So much left unattended, unresolved. But yet time is what i lack. It fills my mind with thoughts, yet i push them aside for what requires my immediate attention. Maybe its a mistake, who knows what time will do? But for now, only one problem at a time. I crave for relieve.

I stand here wondering, trying to see into the future. To tell of consequences, to predict results. But all is blank. Abilities lie in a world of fantasy and i'm rudely brought back to reality. But Superman is no fantasy of mine, he's real. If only i could get a touch of him now. Reality dissolves. The Hand supreme.

Resist i must. Resist i will. For the time of fantasy will come soon. But the mind must rest now.

"But I want to
Feel you touch you know you
And I want to
so I let you set me free
Into sweet misery
Sweet misery"

Tiesto - Sweet Misery

Crazy Japs

2007-04-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

Anybody think the Japs are crazy? Watch these clips then tell me!

Seriously, have they no law against these kindda pranks?

However, throw in a really cute guy and it could actually be voyeuristic porn for some of u :P
Enjoy!

Simple Love

2007-04-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

One thing i love about him?

All those free CD's :P

I've been trying very hard not to fall too fast or too deep into it this time. Blame it on experience but like i've said before, i approach love with much more cynicism now. Even while everything was rosy i still had my doubts - the usual questions of what ifs and is hes'. Whats more scary is the fact that he was a total stranger, no way of doing any kind of background check of what kindda guy is he. Of course i had to take extra precautions, i was entering uncharted grounds.

I do admit however, i was still caught up in the moment. Its like driving a Ferrari but asking it to do 70kph on an empty highway - its possible but highly unlikely. I guess somethings never change eh!

"Begitulah wajah cinta
tak cukup sejuta kata"

Wanted to say more but somehow i find that words cant describe anything i want to say. So i guess i'll just enjoy the ride and see where it leads us to.

Malacca

2007-04-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

Not really in the mood for a full post so here's a brief outline of my weekend (if anybody's interested la :S)

-Went down to Malacca
-Missed Speedzone party because of Malacca :'(
-Ate lots n lots of food in half a day - wan ton mee, hei piao oh (hmm this is hokkien for erm some fishball thingy la), satay, satay celup, chow mien, oo jien (fried oyster).
-Slept the remaining half of the day
-Missed a chance to cuddle in my babys arms to sleep.
-Missed Easter Sunday service
-Got bitten by A HELL LOT OF MOSQUITOES!
-Was so freaking hot the whole day! (N my mum dragged me to walk with her up St Pauls hill sommore!)
-Saw some cute guys in Jonker Walk
-Finally got a nice cross pendent in Jonker Walk
-Saw a gay guy doing line-dancing on stage with a bunch of old ladies in glittery clothes (he was good tho)
-Saw a Kwai Lou girl crying at the foot of Bkt Cina (For u guys unfamiliar with Mlk, Bkt Cina is littered with old style cemetaries, think old chinese ghost stories :P)

Generation UnGap

2007-04-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

Ok so lately i've been posting up alot of vid. Kindda told myself to write up a proper post for today but i stumbled across this vid that was TOO FUCKING HILARIOUS! To not post it up would be a crime. Its in Mandarin but dont worry if your a banana like me, you'll enjoy it too!

This rap was brought to you by...

LAO ZHA BOR!

And she even has a blog! Go check out her site here.

'Shi Bu Shi Jai Kai Wan Siaoo!'

Anyway, i guess this is what you really call bridging the generation gap. But somehow, its rather disturbing. I dont even wanna think about how its gonna be if i ever find out MY grandparents have a rap album coming out!

Well, all the best LAO CHAR BOR! I support you...as long as you dont ever influence my grandparents or give them crazy ideas. If you do, i'll be sueing you for emotional trauma, I SWEAR!

ps: OMFG! After listening to it for like a million time, i think i'm actually starting to like this song! Anyone else thinks its catchy? :S

Vids

2007-04-04T12:10:00.000+08:00

I need your help guys. Found this trailer on my com which i downloaded some time ago and remembered really wanting to catch this film. Unfortunately i dont really know how to go about finding it as its in chinese and a foreign gay film. If anybody has any idea on how to get the dvd i would be eternally grateful to you. Thanks.

Eternal Summer (trailer)

Oh and i really love the music as well, if anybody knows where to get it...lol thanks

_____________________

And heres another clip. Pretty disturbing i would say, but its also a must watch. This one courtesy of Ray for introducing it to me. Enjoy!

Ernest And Bertram

A Parody

2007-04-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

Love her voice and somehow, this song works.

Alanis Morissette 'My Hump'

A Tale Of Good And Evil

2007-04-03T13:41:00.000+08:00

My mum is rearing snails...really.

Today i came back from uni only to be greeted on the front porch by a tupperware of snails.

Ever since i moved to my new place some time back, the garden has been the pride and joy of my mum and dad. This is not to say that they are superb gardeners with a natural green thumb, or that my garden is exceptionally pretty, but rather they have put much more effort into it this time around compared to before.

Never before have they shown this much interest in potted plants or taken so much time and effort to ensure every foliage in the house remains vibrant and more importantly, alive. Of course there has been the occasional plant murder when my dad would accidentally put too much fertiliser in one pot or viciously dig out that poor defenceless papaya tree that my mum planted (he doesn't believe in the practicality of having a fruit tree in the house :S) but all in all, i would say that they're doing quite well.

So imagine their horror one day when they found their beloved garden infested with snails. No idea where those little fellers have been hiding all this time but they sure like a grandeur appearance. It was as if a whole clan reunion was taking place right here in our garden and everywhere u turned u could see snails. Ok so i may be exaggerating a lil bit, but yeah there were quite a few la.

Without hesitation, my mum started her conquest to rid her precious retreat from these pest. She scoured the area high and low, leaving no stone unturned literally. The snails were handpicked one by one and off into a tupperware they went. When she was done, she smiled. Emerging triumphant, she could once again breath easily knowing that her lil garden was once again safe. Little did she realise of her final obstical.

'What should i do with these?' she turned to ask me.

'Kill it la! Squash them all at once. Or better yet, pour salt and see them melt!' I replied with a wicked grin.

But being the softy that she is, my mum couldnt do it. She thought it was heartless if she killed those snails, even if they did pose a threat to her garden. So in the tupperware those wretched snails remain till this day still awaiting their judgement. Uncertain about their future. And if you listen carefully at the stroke of midnight on a clear silent night, when the moon is full and the air is still, you would hear the soft mourning of those greedy snails crying

'Woe is us! Woe is us!'

The Dark Side Of Emotions

2007-04-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

Emotions are deceiving. They come as sudden as they go and often, we have to clear up the mess that they leave behind. Of course we only have ourselves to blame for being a victim of the moment. If only we had been strong.

Falling for somebody is easy, especially in a society where many are desperate for a meaningful relationship. All we need is a little attention, some form of pampering, and we think that we're head-over-heels for somebody. What happens then when the feeling goes away? Only then do we face reality and start with the rational part. Is he really the one for me? Can i really live with this guy? Worst still, do i really love him? Or was it all just a sugar rush?

Some say that relationship takes work. Work to forge a closer bond. Work to maintain that feeling. Work to ensure that trust. But even when a person goes beyond himself to satisfy the other, it doesn't always produce the desired results. Instead, the other party might just end up feeling more pressured to remain in the relationship, and that is a recipe for disaster.

I definitely felt that pressure once. I was with the sweetest, most caring guy anybody could ever wish for, and it was alot to live up to. In the end, i was left feeling indebted to him. By then, the feeling was gone. The rainbows had hidden behind clouds and birds stopped singing the song of love. Reality started sinking in, and i couldn't see myself with him anymore. But i owed him! And that was the worst part. I would be seen as the jerk if i left him, but would be living a lie if i continued. It ended eventually, but not without a huge mess as expected. Looking back, it was the right thing to do but i still cant help tasting that sour after taste every time i think back.

And maybe love is blind. Or maybe some people just don't want to see the obvious. An idealistic man trapped in a vicious world. What will happen when his bubble burst? What happens when he realises that even with all the securities to offer, sometimes its just not enough without that attraction as well? Maybe if he understood the concept of emotion, he would see that it was all but a dream. A sweet one that will turn sour if he does not let go. Or maybe he really is oblivious to it all?

In any case, i wish him well.

An idealistic man trapped in a vicious world.

If only he knew of emotions.

Turning St8

2007-03-29T11:15:00.000+08:00

This clip is hillarious, i just had to post it up!

It Starts With Tomorrow

2007-03-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago i went to the gym wearing my specs because i was lazy to put on my contacts. Normally i would just wear them in the gym as well. Unlike some ppl i know, i do not like the feeling of seeing phantoms everywhere i go, aka blurred faces. That day however, i was planning to do alot more cardio thanks to all those late night snacking and sinful alco so i went about without my specs.

So there i was, happily cycling away those dreaded fats, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye i spot this shirtless dude. First thought was, omg its that old uncle again!

You see, theres this uncle probably in his 40ies i guess, who likes to do his workout shirtless. Given he's fucking strong (carries those big weights) but he has a horrible gut jutting out and lets just say its really not a pleasant sight at all. On top of that, he likes doing weird things too like erm...swinging from bars and climbing over railings to get to the other side of the room instead of just walking up a mere 3 step! Reminds me of a classmate i once had, weird guy.

Anyway i thought it was that guy but i did turn my head to look again, just because i was bored and was wondering what other weird things he would do today. Well, it wasnt that uncle. It was somebody else. Somebody with a much nicer body - tall, lean and well toned. Unfortunately, half blinded as i was, i couldnt really make out much la so i didnt really bother.

Today as i was working out again, thankfully with my contacts on this time, came this dude. He was wearing a long sleeve tee and again i thought to myself why would anyone workout in a long sleeve tee? Was Malaysia not fucking hot enough? Again, didnt really bother.

Then this guy goes into the washroom and a few minutes later emerged...topless. It was then that i realise that this was the same dude i saw the last time and my mouth nearly dropped when i saw the body that he had. OMG now i know who the Greeks took as models because this guy was CHISELLED to perfection.

Not those super muscular guy that everybody hates, but the lean and toned kind that can just melt er...anything la. One could see the perfectly sculpted chest, those deep grooves of his abs, and that super sexy line that divides the shoulders from the arms. Took every ounce of willpower to just not stare. No wonder its been such a fucking hot day, he obviously was around PJ!

Well even tho i couldnt stare openly, i sure gave him loads of glances. Just admirational glances mind u, not those lustful kind because i'm loyal :P But seeing him sure gave me determination to work harder to achieve the kind of body i've always longed for...his!

Then i went to mamak.

Then i ordered Nasi Lemak Ayam.

-.-

So much for determination eh?

Its the Stress Talking

2007-03-28T13:29:00.000+08:00

A glimpse of the past
in a picture of the present
brings a sense of urgency
for what comes in the future

There are certain things i want to write but cant - or at least not over here. Perhaps the timing is right when he gave me that book. I love it to bits! And perhaps its time i channel my thoughts somewhere more personal now. Somehow, knowing some of the people that reads my blog has inhibit me from writing more personal stuff (some la!). I guess there are certain things that i would still like to keep to myself. Its a matter of pride, unfortunately.

Anyway workload is becoming unbearable. Some due to procrastination but mostly due to my own unintelligence. UGH! Will be so glad when i finally come out to work and do things that are actually logical again. When will i ever learn!

2 MORE MONTHS TILL HOLS!

Sometimes I wonder

2007-03-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

Ahh its pretty obvious isnt it, this blogs been abandoned for quite some time now.

*dust cobwebs away*

....

Dont know where to start so i shall just say this first,

I ~~WANT~~ NEED MORE MONEY!

Went shopping today, chasing brands we all could not afford, hoping to at least sniff out a good bargain but ended up greatly disappointed. The worst thing that can happen to a men is to grab hold of a fucking gorgeous pair of pants (LINEN AND OFF WHITE!) only to find its sooo not worth the price! Plus because of my *petite* size, as some would call me (grrr) some alterations have to be made that would incur an additional cost of RM35. I did not spend all that time in the gym just to pay more for clothes that are already extortionately priced!

___________________________

When my heart skips a beat
At the whisper of your voice
Is this love and all thats to it
Or a phase that just was?

Its sad when love has to be wary. Not that i worry alot about what he's doing or am untrusting, its just sometimes there will be a nagging thought or a flicker of doubt that passes by and i dont like that. I guess in a way, i have learned from past mistakes and experiences. Kindda surprised me alittle at some of the things i actually paused to consider before bouncing in head first like i usually do.

A Weird Post

2007-03-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

In the end, all that griping worked. I guess someone does hear our wails after all, or maybe it was just really good timing...or maybe just desperation.

But i'm happy

I'm glad i went last Saturday

:)

Crappy Monday

2007-03-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

Today has got to be the crappiest start to the week i've ever had in a long time.

Barely had enough sleep, woke up twice scratching. Had to drag myself to the toilet to splash water on the itch just so i dont scratch my legs off. I have to say its getting better now but i still find myself waking up scratching every so often.

Anyway, that made me extra tired but i had to wake up extra early to visit the blardy gas station. Next was the jam at Federal at the Jln 222 part which was short, so ok i thought i'd make it on time. But NoooOoOo it had to be jam from amcorp all the way to Midvalley too. To top it off, one of my lab parter claims to have fallen 'ill' and thus asking me to go collect the toolbox from his house.

Upon reaching there i find an unusual crawl exiting from his housing area because some fool parked his stupid fucking car by the road just before the exit, causing the left lane to have to wait with the guys in the right lane at a trafic light (left lane does not need to wait for the lights). Well after passing through that obstical finally, i was then confronted with idotic lorry drivers. Of course you'd have to expect it! I mean no crappy day is complete without fucking stupid lorry drivers who insist on crossing the road no matter if theres car on the other side or not and blocking the whole fucking road!

ROARRRRRRRRRRR

So to destress, i decided to go out for a movie at night. Was supposed to stay back to do some reading but i think a crappy day deserves a night out at least. Watched Bridge to Terabithia. I loved that show. Might be alittle slow for some but i just found that whole show to be really sweet. Reminds me of childhood innocence. Wont say anything more to spoil it for u guys yet to catch it.

Oh and while leaving the cinema, i had to reverse into a fucking pole which was so short it was out of view. Now theres a gaping hole in my back bumper. Such a great way to end a crappy day.

Terbaik Untukmu

2007-03-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

It was an eventful weekend to say the least.

The plan was to go Aloha on Friday, be there by 12 (at least) and then leave by 1 something.

When will we ever learn that the impossible nvr happens.

We arrived at 12.30

We left when the lights came on.

And we weren't even in Aloha, we ended up in Passion...AGAIN.

But i have to say that it was a superb night. From the moment we stepped into the club until we left, the DJ played a fucking fantastic set that had everybody up n shaking their booty, grooving to the hard thumping sound of techno mix. Its official, I'm a club whore.

Then there was gossip.

Then there was drama (alil bit).

Some mamak.

And now its back to being single versus being in a relationship all over again.

Call it biological clock or whatever, but I'm finding myself wanting a relationship once again. I'm looking around and seeing couples doing things i once did, and suddenly the strings of loneliness starts strumming a mournful song. And yet I'm hesitant if I'll be able to commit to one. But more importantly, I've yet to find The One to start anything with, even if i wanted to!

I guess its no point really to lament on the pros and cons of a relationship if opportunity isn't even knocking at your door, but its always better to be prepared then to be caught unaware no? Not that I'm on the prowl now, because i always believe in love finding their way to the right hearts, but at the rate I'm knowing people i might as well just start taking knitting lessons now and start preparing for a lifetime of lonely celibacy! :(

Oh and since i'm lamenting, might as well just say this too...I HATE YOU MONDAYS!

Ok i have to sleep now, but i'll leave you with this sweet song (thanks Ray).

Tangga
Terbaik Untukmu

Aku sadar kalau kini
Kita sudah smakin menjauh
Sempat aku berpikir ini
Kau yg menginginkannya
Lepas dari pelukku

oh kini aku sadari
ini salahku
tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali

reff: maafkanlah bila ku selalu
membuatmu marah dan benci padaku
ku lakukan itu semua
hanya tuk buatmu bahagia

mungkin ku cuma tak bisa pahami
bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku
aku cuma ingin jadi terbaik untukmu

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini bersamaku
Jangan Pergi
Berikan satu kesempatan
Untuk ku membuktikan
sesungguhnya cintaku

There are some people that i'll always love, no matter what. Though the nature of this love may change, the fact is i'll always care.

Itchy Itchy Scratch

2007-03-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

OMG SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ME!

I've been having this itch on my legs for days now and its still not going away. I find myself waking up at night just to scratch and not only is it disturbing my sleep, its also leaving me with SCARS! Now i look like somebody who'd just finished a game of rugby.

Been trying to eliminate all source of itch, starting from changing the bedsheets, to moping the floor, to sending all worn clothes to be washed, to bathing really, really, and i mean really clean and still the itch prevails! If this last any longer i think i might go insane and start scratching myself to death. Come to think about it, i think i've read a horror story once where someone used dark magic to make another person scratch himself to death. Hmmm......

Lights.Camera.Action.

2007-03-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

Rejoice people for a superstar is born.

No longer am i just a mere mortal anymore, I now live on a higher level!

I have been encapsulated in a movie and shall now be remembered for the splendid performance i gave.

Generations will worship me!

Children will adore me!

The Oscar will idolize me!

OK i'm just joking.

So i finally got a taste of how life through the lens was like. Played a very small part in a local production as one of those faces in the multitudes you see on screen but nvr bother about (aka kalefare in canton) and it took damn fucking long just to please the director. Man not worth the money we were paid. Thank god i wasnt there alone or i would have just walked out halfway.

Reached the set about 7 plus. I have to admit i was quite excited as this was the first time i've ever seen a movie being shot up close and personal. You wont believe how much a little bit of lighting and playing around with the camera angle can create a beautiful backdrop when in actual fact its just being shot in some old uninteresting building. Such trickery!

Anyway we were made to sit there for ages after we arrived. Didnt even know if we would be accepted because i had mistaken a shirt for a tee. So there we were, wait, wait, wait, when finally they told us they had dinner provided for us and we would be briefed after eating. Huh? Nobody mentioned dinner, and me, ad and mich had KFC at KLCC!

Well they did brief us after dinner, and then the acting started. To cut a long story short, i've nvr shouted 'Merdeka' so many times in my entire life as i did in that one night. Neither has the phrase 'Hidup Tunku', 'Hidup UMNO', and 'Hidup MCA' been uttered from my mouth ever, and yet i think i said it enough to last me a lifetime and many more. Oh and the bitch (ok she was a nice lady actually) combed my hair like shit and really made me look like an AH PEK! Good god how on earth can i show my face now! I hope nobody ever recognises me, if they ever go watch that show in the first place la.

What was expected to be a 6 hour stint dragged on and on and on and finally, at BLARDY 3.30, they finally wrapped it up. OMG 80 bucks for eight n half hour is so not worth my time! I guess you cant put a price on experience, but i swore to myself that nvr again was i going for something like this (unless something interesting comes along la :P). So i guess i can finally strike of acting as a profession now.

Its time to move on.

Next stop, daredevil!

Lazy Day

2007-02-27T11:27:00.000+08:00

After much ~~argument~~ discussion about which one is better, working life or studying life, I've come to the conclusion that indeed, studying is much better. I mean how many working people can claim a self-declared holiday from 3 hours of classes as i have done today?

Its great to be able to just lazy about at home, waking up to the periodic swishing sound of the fan and the sporadic passing of cars outside your window while still comfortably tucked under your soft duvet. Even though the holidays have just passed, its been more exhausting rather then recuperating for me. Countless numbers of late nights and drinking sessions, waking up after that in time for visiting, not to mention a grueling full day of lab and class yesterday has left me drained. Not my ideal way to start off classes but much needed.

Believe it or not but I've barely even had the time to log onto the Internet, much less surf the usual blogs/sites i normally visit, or catching up with my reading (be it studies or leisure). Fear not tho cos things are starting to get back to normal, and once more i can start having a semblance of an orderly life again.

Just to make sure there's no confusion about my previous post, no I'm not seeing anyone currently and that last paragraph was not written with anyone in mind. Its just one of my fears WHEN i do meet that someone that i like that's all.

I think the most hurtful thing a person can go through is rejection. Sometimes when i think about it, it really sucks to like a person (and i do mean LIKE and not just fall for him cos he's cute or superficial things like that) and not have those feelings returned, no matter how hard you try or what you do, there's no way of getting that person to feel for you like you do for him. A feeling of hopelessness, and all you can do is sit back and just pray one day that he'll return your love. I've had those moments, not very deep or serious, but still the hurt i felt. Imagine a full blown love attack!

Probably one of the reasons why i want to be perfect, so i wont ever face rejection.

Stupid idealism :)

Monday Blues

2007-02-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to say except that it was one hell of a week.

One week of non stop drinking

One week of non stop gambling

One week of non stop eating

One week of non stop visiting

In a way i'm glad its finally over, but i'm missing the fun already. Have a feeling its gonna be so hard adjusting back to reality again.

Recap CNY 2007
-someone makes cocktails
-someone was being a bitch
-more people found out about me
-more people accepted me
-won RM200
-drank every single fucking day! (UGH)
-camwhored with my new cam

I find that funny things run through my mind alot (not literally la of course) but too tired/lazy to write them down now. How does one 'dont think so much'?

___________________________

Sometimes i feel insecure around people that i like. Its like my flaws are amplified around them, and i'm the kind of guy who wants to be perfect for that special someone because well, i think they deserve it. In a way it puts a strain on the relationship and sometimes its best to just be yourself and see if that person can just accept you for the guy that you are.

Quickie

2007-02-21T17:32:00.000+08:00

I'm cheerful today, and its of no particular reason. Was just finishing my jog and cooling down, walking round the neighbourhood with my ipod in hand when suddenly i just felt uplifted. Been trying to find a word that best describe that feeling but somehow i can't.

I like moments like this :)

Happy CNY

2007-02-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

To all the people who've msged me in the past but have yet to receive a reply, i apologise for my tardiness. God needs to give me a bigger brain and more seconds in an hour, hours in a day, and day in a week.

Will be going down to Malacca tomorrow at blardy 7 in the morning and i'm still awake and have yet to pack my things up. Just wanna wish those that take the time to check this blog out a very Happy and Prosperous (very important!) Chinese New Year.

Enjoy ur holiday

Anybody up for clubbing next Saturday give me a shoutout!

A Little Upgrade

2007-02-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

'There'll be sad songs to make you cry'

Particularly true for me as i have a mild obsession of listening to sad, sappy songs whenever i'm doing my work or just sitting in front of the computer mindlessly wondering around cyberspace, and i fear that its becoming something chronic. After all how many Sad Songs 1, Sad Songs 2 , Slow Songs 1, and so on so forth can one have in their playlist?

Now however, i fear that my condition is going to deteriorate further given the fact that i will be able to start 'emoing' as well even in my car thanks to my kindda new CD player. Yes ladies and gentleman, this big boy finally gets to listen to proper selection of music from now on and not be subjected to the tortures of radio (though entertaining at times la i must admit!) anymore.

Cant imagine saying this but, i cant wait to drive to uni tomorrow!

My Heart Goes Sha-La-La / Kenangan Terindah

2007-02-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

Blardy blogspot finally forced me into switching over to the new version! Dont quite have the time to browse through it yet so i'm still impartial about it. Lets just hope they've not changed too many things, i'll hate to have to start figuring things out again.

____________________________

Although just completing a 5 hour karaoke marathon stint last saturday, i'm afraid that session only fueled my obsession all the more! Who wanna teman me sing?!

Caution: Might be subjected to torture.

____________________________

So the sad news is that Muse tickets are all SOLD OUT! Come on people its only 2 weeks before the concert, whats the rush! Where on earth is that Malaysian spirit of procrastination?! Sad and dejected, me and my friend now contemplate on bringing chairs and sitting outside the stadium as they perform. Pretty sure that the experience wont be quite as electrifying as being inside that place tho. Unless of course any of you kind souls have extra tickets and wanna sell it to me :)

____________________________

Samsons - Kenangan Terindah

aku yang lemah tanpamu
aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

selama mata terbuka
sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun aku
mampu tuk mengenangmu

darimu….
kutemukan hidupku
bagiku…..
kaulah cinta sejati…

bila yang tertulis untukku
adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan kujadikan kau kenangan
yang terindah dalam hidupku

namun takkan mudah bagiku
meninggalkan jejak hidupku
yang tlah terukir abadi
sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Just a song that has been playing on loop for awhile now. I guess its best to leave the past as that and just hold on to the memories. Dont think he'll ever know how much i ache inside everyday thinking, holding back the tears whenever i recall of what we shared. But its best to leave it as it is, the past. I have my reasons for doing what i'm doing and i dont think anybody will ever understand.

He finally took me off the list.

Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Kenangan terindah

Of Rubbish, Fantasy And Gym

2007-02-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

So there i was driving to uni when suddenly something caught my eye in the rear view mirror - black bags were falling off this rubbish truck behind my car. As those bags fell, they burst upon impact and suddenly its raining rubbish. I would have been so damn pissed if i was the one behind that truck. Thank God i was in front, so i was just amused :P

________________________

Once upon a time someone drew me a fantasy,
Of a place far away where we would call our own.
Where coming home meant hugs and cuddles and kisses,
And bedtime meant listening to the rhythm of him gentle breathing.
Dinner spent with each other on the sofa with astro,
And mornings spent fighting for the use of the toilet mirror.
Weekends spent shopping for furnitures in Ikea,
Then returning back to the comfort of our very own home.
Now though that someone is long gone,
The fantasy somehow still lingers on.

__________________________

Today i shall mourn, for my trial period with California Fitness expires. Goodbye hunky working guys and six pack abs. I shall remember you, wonderful crunch machine and super 'i really want one too' glider. Ok so i only went for like 4 times but it was enough to get me hooked. Oh and theres something about all those men coming in their working attire that just makes my heart race and melt all at the same time. I've always had a thing for older guys and i guess its confirmed now.

Too bad i'm still a poor student (damnit!) or i think i would have joined ages ago. Had to resist the urge to just swipe my card and commit to 99 bucks a month for 12 months. My mum would surely go ballistic if i did.

I was telling ad that maybe i should practice my poker skill. Winning RM99 every month was possible, no? He told me to just go find a sugar daddy.

-.-

Random Thoughts

2007-02-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Somethings wrong! Seems like everybody is getting into the poker fever now...or maybe its just my friends.

Seriously, everwhere i turn my head, all i hear is poker night. Maybe Desperate Housewives is making a bigger impact on Malaysia then expected.

And then i start hearing of poker sessions where people actually win/lose up to 200-300 bucks! I dont mind the winning part, but to lose RM200 on poker??? Think i'll probably end up on the floor with foam coming out of my mouth.

Of course most of them are already working but i constantly hear them complain about being broke and being paid peanuts. I think its all just a scam to scare poor students like me from wanting to graduate and taking a bite out of their apple! Hmph!

______________________

Been going out with some ex-uni mates recently and theres this guy that really catches my interest, and no i dont mean that in a sexual way. Its just the maturity that he exudes facinates me along with a few other characteristics that i really like as well. Coupled with the fact that he's rich and i think we've got ourselves ladies and gentlemen, the perfect bachelor! However its not all sugar and spice with this guy as i listen to him talk about life working for the dad and how he has to entertain his clients. Dont think i'll like any job with that aspect and certainly praying hard i wont ever have to be in one.

______________________

Into the second week of uni now and i'm already stressed and worried. I've built up so much expectation out of myself this time that i'm constantly worried i wont meet my target and its really killing me inside. This week alone i barely had 7 hours sleep everyday (and i really need my beauty sleep) because of all the stupid random thoughts that keep swirling about in my mind, damnit!

_______________________

Well i guess thats all for me now folks i'm to lazy and tired to type anymore lol.

Too Drunk To Type, Somebody Stop Me!

2007-02-01T05:12:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for i am quite drunk. Its been so long since i had so much to drink. OMG i really think i'm getting too old to club :S

Anyway, i swear, i will nvr go to zouk for Mambo Jumbo night ever again. Music????? Its horrible! Nvr in my life have i danced to such horrendious music! Never again

Why does my hair take so damn long to dry?! I really want my bed...sob sob....

Sry guys for such a post but its 5am and i really dont know what else to do while waiting for my blardy hair to dry, so allow me this one time to talk cock!

..........

..........

Ok my hairs dry now, goodnight folks and happy holidays! Enjoy your hols!

Night

The Coming And Going Of Muse

2007-01-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

Wow, i cant believe how fast i got here finally. After countless days of sitting idly, fingers tapping impatiently, i'm finally able to start writing a post within minutes of logging in. TMnet, i'm impressed. Now if you can only reconnect my torrents back on, i'll be eternally grateful...until the next time u fuck up :P

Anyway, so long has passed that i dont quite know what to write anymore. There have been numerous post since my last entry starting off with 'I've lost my muse' only to remain that way for about 5 minutes before i give up and log off again.

Somehow, i've lost the feel to write since the holidays started, if you get what i mean. To me, writing is not just about letting people know whats been happening to me, or putting pen to paper (metaphorically speaking obviously) about random thoughts, or even finding an outlet to rant, but rather more of an emotional thing. The words have to flow out in a strange kind of rhythm and rhyme before i can really write about anything at all. If i dont get the flow, i wont write, no matter how much i have to say or how badly i want to tell something.

So guys the next time you find no updates in this blog, just remember that its my muse going on holiday and has nothing whatsoever to do with me being lazy...really.

Anyway i guess this one update would be of significance because i finally had my first bloggers meet! *WooHoo* Have to admit tho, and it was pretty obvious as everybody was saying it, that i was pretty quiet. To be honest, i dont think i do well in big groups :) Especially to a whole bunch of strangers and first meets, dont expect me to be the chatty one in the group lol I fare much better 1v1 i think. But it was fun, getting to meet the faces behind some of the blogs that i read.

Oh and i'm quite psyched about Muse coming down as well. Cant believe that finally a band worth listening to is going to play in Malaysia. I think i'm going to get the RM 150 tickets although i can already feel it burning a hole in my pocket...oh wait, make that my whole pants! Lucky my dad got me a new camera to take beautiful pictures of Matthew Bellamy.

Mmmm.......

Ops sry got carried away. Anyway this back-to-school boy has to get his sleep now (and dream about Muse doing dirty things to him).

Goodnight folks!

-ZZZ-

Domino

2007-01-26T02:21:00.000+08:00

"Heads you live,
Tails you die"

Finally, after one and a half weeks of holidays, i managed to squeaze in a movie! I've got lots overdue in my house, all loaned from friends whom have all but given up asking if i'm done with their dvds yet. So its one down, nine more to go...seriously! If the first one took a year to be seen, i wonder how long more before i'll be done with the rest.

So now that you know how long those dvds have been resting in my house, pardon the late discussion about the show DOMINO. This one i actually bought a few months back because i remember reading a review about it and it sounded interesting. My mistake, it wasnt interesting...it was awesome! I love the kick-ass version of Keira and that sultry eyes of hers! One look at those eyes can just melt my heart. Maybe i'm straight after all...lol.

Anyway, did a quick google on the real Domino only to find out that the whole money heist thing didnt really happened. Instead, according to wikipedia, she was a drug addict constantly high on drugs. Whats really brilliant is that, given this fact, it still doesnt really discredits the whole movie. I mean that whole episode really could have been what she thought she was going through during any of her euphoric states and its debatable. However, all does not go well for the real Domino though as she died from an OD. Wikipedia doesnt say anything about the little girl though so i dont quite know if that part was real or fiction and its too late to do any sort of fact finding.

Oh and Edgar Ramirez!!! What oh what can i say about him except he was so damn sexy! And that part where he stripped down to his briefs (and skimpy too :P) doing laundry, i had to hold a bucket under my head from all that drool! And contrary to what they all said, I totally found his spanish thing cute. Dont fret Ramirez, come talk spanish to me anytime you want! I swear we'll do a fucking lot more then just talk :P Makes me wanna go to Spain!

_____________________________

I really need a longer holidays! i think i've only completed like 4/9 of my to do list, which is really bad. I've only had the chance to take an afternoon nap like one day so far and i really want to nap more before i dont have the chance to *sob sob! Plus i need to loan a four-wheel drive lol Anybody out there has one and is willing to loan it to me for a day? I will be eternally grateful! LOL

______________________________

Just checked my mail and found that Kmart spammed my mail asking if i was interested in joining some kind of health competition just because i wrote a post on going to the gym! Anybody else getting spam emails due to their blogs? Tell me i wanna know :)

Dont Know Of A Title

2007-01-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

Ok so i think i might have scared a few people into thinking i've grown into this brooding, moody psycho maniac on the verge of killing somebody or facing a break down - far from it actually.

I've actually been pretty busy this holiday seeing its really too short a period so that kindda explains for the lack of post. Instead of being constantly online talking to people through a liquid filled glass, i decided to meet then in person and have decent conversations that dont involve 'lols'. Some of them i've been meaning to meet but not have the chance to in ages due to time conflict so its nice catching up again. Funny how people always drift apart in due time, tho i'm glad to say there werent any of those awkward moments of silence. Oh and poker is so addictive :P

Bought a leather belt today which i absolutely love. Was kind of a last minute thing as i stumbled across that new shop and just couldnt resist going in. Took a blardy long time to choose since i actually wanted to just buy every single belt they had. Too bad my wallet would never be able to withstand the heat and my card would probably melt from the amount being charged, so i had to settle for just one.

Well thats all for today, i've got to get up early tomorrow to paint my gate. So guys, seriously dont take everything in this blog too seriously. My life dont revolve around the things being said in this blog. Some of them are in fact the lowest in my priorities but i just love to rant sometimes.